Okay, my husband's son is 10. His ex-wife is making everything messy! (the divorce) The ex has his son trained to not like me. Believe me before his son and I used to have a great time! (the first year, it's been almost 4) Since she has a lawyer and we dont, she gets the upper hand in EVERYTHING. It's actually come to the point of me not wanting to see him--his son--anymore b/c he lied not once but twice and called children and youth and said I was a bad mother. The inspectors laughed it off and said our house is imaculate and we are great parents. The custody arrangement states the parents switch every other major holiday... Well '08 X-mas he was with his mom, and of course '09 X-mas he is with his mom again. B/c of her wonderful lawyer nothing can be discussed the my Husband's son... i.e. his feelings towards the divorce, visitation arrangement, and custody (I think when he gets to a certain age he can pick who he wants to live with). Well we were walking to the center square of our town to watch the Xmas tree lighting ceremony and ond the way back to the house I asked him if HE knew what he was doing for Christmas... he said "My mom needs to this year b/c of the parties we are going to with my cousins." I said ok, the asked if the made him upset. He said it did. I then asked him "why don't you ask you mom to see you father on Xmas or at least Xmas eve?" He said he didn't know that's what "mom" said. I had told him "You know we are going to miss you... Daddy and I. That makes us feel sad b/c you cant see us on Xmas." Before dropping him off at his mom's house, my husband asked him "Is there anything you wasn't to discuss before we go in?"--we have had problems in the past where he will come running home to mommy and tell her everything she wants to hear even if its lies(i.e. Children and Youth). He said no so they hugged and kissed and his son went inside. Before we could make it down the block his ex wife is SCREAMING on the phone that I made him talk about custody and all this! (While he was BAWLING in the back ground) My husband and I are both ready to throw in the towel. Since he is spending more time with his mother he has become nastier and nastier to the both of us. He doesn't even give me a hug anymore when my husband and I drop him off! I wish it could be like the old times where his son and I used to have SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER, but until he is old enough to understand the situation... it wont be. My husband's ex said HE was the reason hurting his child when honestly its been his ex the whole time.
Hope this helped!
Comments for
Step Son Driven to Hate Me by His Mother
Well, all I can say is to hang in there. One day he hopefully will realize the truth. In the meantime, it will only hurt you both to point out his mother's faults. As tempting as it might be, don't do it. I speak from experience. There is no connection like a child with their mother. I spent ten thousand dollars (our house buying money) on a lawyer to get custody of our step daughter, did all of the arranging, paperwork, appointments etc, at my step daughter's request! She came to be a teenager and since loser mom let her do whatever she wants and talked non-stop crap about us, guess what? It was all for nothing. I had to find a diary in which she said she wanted to turn on the garbage disposal with my hand in it. Called her father her "dripping penis of a father" for not letting her have boyfriends til she was sixteen (mom of course let her at 13!) So, I had to give up. The diary contained even more violent wishes than above and I had to draw the line at the need to protect my own two sons, whom she stated in said diary that she "fucking hated!" With kids killing their families today and us having the writing on the wall, so to speak, had to heed the warning signs. Unless there was counseling, not aloud to come home to our house. Guess what? Judge sided with Mom on how we "invaded her privacy" and reprimanded my husband on why he had a problem with her dating before 16????? Good luck to you!
