It had been a few years since I have spanked either one of my children, (daughter 15 and son 13). My daughter has one heck of a attitute problem. She does what she wants, disobeys me and fights with her brother. I have tried grounding her removing her phone privileges making her stay in her room, but nothing works. I am thinking about returning to spanking her with the paddle like I use to. I am at my wits end. Any suggestions.
Your aunt is way out of line and abusive. Unfortunately, not one single state has laws that will support a teenager who presses charges against a parent who "spanks." I put "spanks" in quotes because "spank" is a euphemism for "hit." A euphemism is an inoffensive word or phrase that people use to sugarcoat or justify their offensive actions. People hit their children then try to justify their poor behavior by using the word "spank" to describe their actions. My advice to any teen in your shoes is to fight back physically because the law won't protect you when you try to defend yourself legally against your offensive aunt.
When my daughter was in first grade, I started to have behavior problems with her in class. I was at my wit's end trying to get her to behave - every day when I picked her up from school, I could see her sitting outside the classroom because she had been disruptive. After several days of this, I threatened to spank her and, for the first time in her life, actually did spank her a few times for disrupting class. The spanks did NOT help the situation, and I stopped immediately. The disruptive phase eventually passed; I never spanked her again. My daughter has grown into an intelligent, confident teenager with a good attitude and sweet disposition. I have raised her on my own since she was 9 months old. Thank God I wasn't a parent who believed in corporal punishment. Who knows what kind of kid she would have turned out to be otherwise.
The parents who need to spank to get their kids to behave (if it even works in the first place) do so because they don't know how to parnet their children and have to bully and intimidate them by hitting them. Parents who spank really shouldn't be allowed the privilege of raising children.
Feb 28, 2010
i was spankt at 8 t0 17 by: Anonymous
my dad gaev me a spanking on my baer bootm when i was a teenager and i grow up fien i also got spankt at school by my prnsupol and ones by pe teher in the locerroom on my underwaer i thek if kids and teens got a good bare bootm or underpants spanking now of thes days thay wood have a lot more respakt.
Feb 11, 2010
Spanked teen guy "for my own good" by: Anonymous
I am a 17 year old guy and I am often getting a good spanking from my aunt-my primary disciplinarian-if I misbehave in any way. Just today after wrestling practice when my aunt picked me up with her van. I had to tell her I had been a naughty boy and got caught playfully wrestling around with some cute girls in detention this morning as she would be getting a letter from the vice principal to that effect. She ordered me into the back of the van and to remove my jeans, shoes, shirt and boxers and used the 14 inch drilled lexan spanking paddle she keeps in the glove box to very properly paddle my bare behind while parked right there in front of school-58 spanks and yes I counted each one outloud! Her spankings really hurt and I confess I was quite vocal before it was even half over. I mention this because I have become pretty respectfull toward my elders which wasn't always the case. My Aunts strong discipline has really shaped up my behavior and demeanor over the two years she has lived with us. I do a lot more chores and take on much more responsibility around the house and do yard work for an elderly couple in the neighborhood. If my performance falls short in any way you bet my aunt will be blistering the dickens out of my bare butt in no time flat. Everyone including m my girlfriends over the years, teachers, coaches, boss and even my buddies have commented on my ongoing improvement in attitude and maturity-though I still clown around a fair bit-since my Aunt moved in and took me in hand. Our neighbors have overheard me receive many tough spankings over the last two years and often complement my manners and maturity after particularly severe chastisement. Kids on there way to the nearby elementary school are occassionally treated to the sound of me getting a sharp bare bottomed spanking as my Aunt administers the paddle, the 28 inc drilled lexxan paddle kept on a nail in my bedroom, If I get smart with her at all in the morning or have to get up early for detention and the like.
Dec 31, 2009
spanking teenagers by: Anonymous
what's the big deal ? kids need to learn. so do teenagers. I have 4 boys , ages 8 to 18. when they step over the line I administer discipline. I grab their hand , lead them to the study, pants & underpants go down I put them over the desk and pow pow ! 2 slaps is enough ! then they get hugs &kisses. every now & then I would rub their bottoms and say ' I'm sure you don't want another one' !
Dec 18, 2009
to Allison in St. Louis by: Danielle H
My very strong opinion is that kids should never be spanked, especially not if they're teenagers.
I am still haunted today by my mother's treatment of me when I was growing up (I'm 42). She thought spanking was appropriate. I went to a parenting class here where I live called "Parenting Project." It's for parents of problem children. My daughter is not a problem child, but she had many friends who were; so I went as a preventive measure.
They ended the first night of class by telling us never to spank your child, that it will only exacerbate the situation. There's a book by Murray A. Straus entitled "Beating the Devil Out of Them." Dr. Straus is known to other researchers as the "world's foremost" researcher in corporal punishment. He's done studies that show that spanking actually exacerbates rather than helps the situation. In the book he acknowledges that many parents stop spanking their kids when they reach a certain age. He says that the later in life that the parents continue to spank their kids, the more problem the parents create, and that anything after puberty is likely to cause severe rebellion.
It backfired on my parents. I've been the same height since 8th grade (over 5'8"), and I started to fight back. I mentioned in an earlier post that I punched my father. I was 17. That's the first time I took a swing at one of my parents, but I started actually physicall defending myself in jr. hi. by pushing back or pointing my finger right in my mother's face and telling her, "Don't you even think about it."
Dec 13, 2009
pan king teenagers by: Anonymous
Im 18 and dad still spanks me when I misbhave, I don't like to still be getting spanked it hurts, but I understand why dad spanks me,Im glad dad does not ground me becauce then everbody knows I was punished, besides a spanking is over in a few mins.the only thing I don't like about the way dad spanks me he spanks me on my barebotton over his knees
Dec 12, 2009
Get a clue people ( #2) by: Danielle Harrington
I never had bruises because of her beatings, but she used every bit of strength she had and her spankings seemed to go on forever. She used her bare hand but usually a ping pong paddle, which she kept on top of the refridgerator strictly for that purpose - a real piece of work this woman was. In second grade, she once spanked me at the busstop in front of the other children. I also got spanked while standing with her in line at a crowded grocery store. I could go on forever with stories like these. She was very easily angered and a micromanager within the home. She had to watch your every move, and you damn well better not get out of line. She was unpredictable. You couldn't avoid getting hit.
Something else she did was constantly and incessently bitch and complain. It was as if she had a job that paid her for every word that came out of her mouth. My birth name was "Kimberly."
And all of my childhood, every day I heard "Kim!" "Kim!" I grew up hating the name. I couldn't stand hearing my friends say, "Hi, Kim."
And I hated telling people my name when they asked; so I legally changed it to Danielle.
I don't believe in spanking, period, at any age. My daughter is 17, and when she was 6, she went thru a period of mischief and getting into trouble at school. I got exasperated and spanked her a few times, knowing it was wrong. It didn't help. I spanked her once in 6th grade when she lied to my face. She's been spanked about 4 times in her life - 4 times too many. I didn't want her to have the awful childhood I had or suffer with memories like mine. I have treated her the way I feel I should have been treated. We are close, laugh a lot together, and I've never had any serious problems with her.
I ran away from home and missed so much school that I just dropped out. I didn't want my daughter to do that.
Danielle Harrington, Roseville, California
Dec 12, 2009
Get a clue people by: Danielle Harrington
Parents who spank their children should be shot. Parents who spank teenagers should be burned alive at the stake.
Parents spank because they have lost control and have no other effective parenting skills enabling them to peacefully and appropriately control their children. Parents who spank are out of control themselves. They are a detriment to their children. Those parents who are able to control and effectively discipline their children without the use of violence are good parents with sound parenting skills.
My mother thought the answer to everything was a good spanking. She was an angry, domineering, narcissistic woman and an expert at severe and harsh punishment but absolutely clueless about what sound discipline was. My father was a very nice and patient man who worked during the day and missed a lot of crap going on in our household. I grew up into a very angry and rebellious teenager. My father didn't understand my behavior. Once when we were arguing, I turned my back on him, and he hit me from behind. I whipped around and backfisted him across the face as hard as I could. I was 17 and had already been hit enough by my mother. I wasn't taking it any more. My father had me down on the floor on my back in about a second, straddling and holding his fist up as if he was going to punch me. I told him, "go for it." I didn't care any more. I told him that I would call the police and press charges, that I'm not afraid to testify in court -all this while I lie their on my back with him on top of me.
I hated my mother with every ounce of my being and tried to talk her into putting me in foster care. Now, at 42, I still look back and think the best thing that could've happened to me was to be removed from the home. I didn't know at that time that a minor could just walk into a courtroom, have himself declared a ward of the court and get foster care, group home, or some other alternative on his own accord without adult intervention. I wish I'd know that then because I would have done that. To this day, I still feel a white hot venomous rage toward her because of the way I was treated.
Dec 09, 2009
Spanking by: Anonymous
I am a 14 year old boy and if I had an attitude with my parents like that I know I would be getting spanked. It is usually over the knee bare bottom with a hairbrush. As a teenager it is embarrasing to get a red bottom like that but it works.
Nov 19, 2009
Another simlar topic by: rachel
There is another similar thread at http://www.child-central.com/spanking-my-teenager.html by Olivia. But with an ADHD child, the challenge is very different of course!
Nov 19, 2009
Look out by: Anonymous
Ohhhhh Boy! Look out their darlin! You just opened a big ol' can of worms. Spanking is a definite no no. And lots of people on here will be able to explain to you just why that is. I have to say I agree at this point. Especially with a teenager. You are just going to show her that adults handle things with violence. And I am sure that at least one person will be able to make the correlation of you spanking with the paddle when she was younger to the problems you are experiencing now as a teenager.
