In the car on our way home from school my son asked if he could go skating with a friend this evening. I said yes he could as long as his responsibilities were taken care of first. We get home and he brings me a test he failed and that needed a parents signature. Now I dont know what to do. A test failed isnt acceptable in our home. I told him he could go skating already but I dont want him to think he gets rewarded for faiing. School work comes first!!! Should i still let him go because I already said he could or should I not let him go? I feel like im being mean if i say no he cant go because I told him yes already?? HELP??
Obviously it is now too late for current advice sought to be effective, so long after the event. However, this guy is a clever manipulator, who covers up facts, gets you to agree with him on privileges, then when you consent, out-comes-the-truth. Quite clearly (at a guess)he is about 14 years bordering on 15, quite a capable student, but puts always pleasure before responsibility. Anticipation conquers battles, next time be aware. Be one step ahead. Know when he faces important exams/homework/tasks and always ask him about the results/progress. Stipulate as commander in chief,that he provides you a daily/weekly run down about his educational or other progress. Ask him also to perform certain tasks around the house-and see how he carries these out. Agree with him that if he has not earned by diligent work his rights to entertainment-never to ask you for them-and beforehand tell him what disciplinary action you will mete out to him. What does all this mean? That you as his dad you must guide him to be responsible, toddler time treatment is finalised!
Nov 04, 2009
Heck No. by: Beentheredonethat
I feel for you. You sound an awful lot like myself. I can think up 101 reasons to not follow thru on consequences. It is so hard, especially when we think that we are somehow being unfair or unjust to them. But as an objective spectator on the outside looking in, think about this - Don't you think he knew that this failed test was in his backpack? And furthermore, might he have known what the result of said F would be? And taken just a wee bit further, could it be possible that the little angel was conniving just a bit at asking for permission to skate BEFORE showing you said F? I think that maybe he might deserve double duty here for playing you, Mom. Don't worry, mine do it too, all of the time. Sometimes I catch on, sometimes I don't, sometimes I do but pretend that I don't because I just can't bare it! At any rate, this time I think I would call him on it and see what happens. You and he both know that no matter what you said before, the F was on its way and makes all deals therefore null and void. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are obviously a good mama. Good luck and let us know how you handled this one. T.
