I appreciate any insight you can offer. I grew up in a more "restrictive" home than my husband. We went to the Riviera on our honey moon and I actually enjoyed the top freedom.
We are now both nude sleepers as are our 15 y/o daughter and 11 y/o son (Todd). There is "casual" nudity in the home. For the past five years due to economic factors we have lived frugally (no vactions, few outings, bag lunches, no a/c, no vending machine purchases, etc). I think the "no a/c" has lead to increased casual nudity during the hot/humid summers.
The mother of a good friend of our son has invited Todd to join them for two weeks in Florida this summer (Disney, South Beach, etc). A 14 y/o girl cousin from Germany will be joining them. This family has a son our Todd's age and a 13 y/o daughter. The mother thought the boys would have each other and the girls would have each other - and perhaps they would do somethings together.
My inquiry centers on the fact that part of the time will be spent at South Beach (topless) since top freedom is something the mother and daughter enjoy and certainly the cousin from Germany. Todd does not know about the invitation since the mother wanted us to know the "conditions".
We feel very safe and very comfortable with this family. We are quite sure Todd would love to go. My husband and I have discussed this and we feel it would be okay given the family circumstances and the fact that Todd has been raised in a "casual nudity" family.
We just don't want to do anything to "harm" our son, but believe this is a wonderful opportunity (especially since we haven't been able to go on vacation as a family).
Thank you, Katie
Comments for
Should an 11 year old boy visit a topless beach?
Sure, as long as he doesn't do anything wrong, it should be fine.
Feb 13, 2010
YES by: Anonymous
Sure he has to know whats out in the world sooner or later and it should be sooner
Nov 18, 2009
It's not about sex by: Anonymous
Our children see nudity on TV, although I have no TV, I do watch movies. When seen on tv or on a screen, it is seen as sexual. I am divided now, because I allowed my son to visit a nude beach. I was with him althoughI didn't get naked....I let him experience the way it felt. My ex husband found out,because my son told him...I think my son liked it, but then later was made to feel there was something inherently wrong with it. My therapist made a judgement on it and compared it to if I had been brought to a nude beach by my father at aged 13. I still believe there is a difference there(with that psychological reasoning). My son becamme mentally ill that summer and the guilt I felt was tremendous. I stopped seeing the therapist because he just wouldn't let up. After all, she had been a nun for 25 years, she left that position, and is now married. I read a book on the family bed when I was still married and breast feeding. I used to have to go away on the weekends for hese high end craft shows and my babywould go to my parents. The seperation was tremendous, and one time i came home, he was sick and I was still breast feeding, I kept him in my bed, and he never left, as my husband was a night shifter, I couldn't see a reason to seperate my son from me. We divorced , and the need to sleep together was more evident when he would come to visit. He had missed me so much, he was afraid to be alone. The divorce was cruel, I was forced to leave the home, and I moved 3 hours away, after becoming unwelcomed in my parents' home. The whole point to my telling this long drawn out story is that there had always been an innocent closeness between my son and me his mom. People around us my ex, my parents, ripped us apart. Never was there any kind of sexual thing between my son and me. He's always had his own room. He was always allowed as much privacy as he needed... People with strong religous beliefs made us feel bad. Sinners...I wanted to show my son that nudity is not about sex, but a way of life especially on the beach in the sun. Some people make it aout sex...it's all how it is percieved. I have become more conservative and less open about my nudity and litterally afraid to shed my clothes because of the incident w/ my son. I believe in the right supportiv environment, nudity for children and adolecents is actually good for them.
Nov 17, 2009
Get another therapist by: Mom of 2 teens
To the woman whose therapist was angry about this. Have you read all of these comments? I've been to many nude and topless beaches and there have always been boys your son's age around. In Europe as you can see this isn't even an issue. Either set your therapist straight or get a new one. She has a few hangups.
Sep 24, 2009
Still not sure.... by: Anonymous
My son is 13, and was curious abut a nude beach I go to...o I gradully introduced him to it, and e seem to really enjoy the freedom of being naked for a short duration of time. I did not get unclothd but speaking to my therapist today about it, she was very, very upset that I had done that(brought him there to that beach).
I only wanted him to experience the freedom.
I've been feeling like the mother from hell ever since talking to her today. She was very judgemental and said thatif his father, my ex husband, wanted to declare me an unfit mom, that that piece of information would do it.
I feel just terrible...
Sep 22, 2008
no big deal by: Sue
I am the mom of 2 kids (boy 15 and girl 17) and have visited relatives in Europe and we have all gone to the beach topless and it was quite educational for our family - no big deal.
Jul 23, 2008
Follow-up by: Katie
I wrote:
"The mother of a good friend of our son has invited Todd to join them for two weeks in Florida this summer (Disney, South Beach, etc). A 14 y/o girl cousin from Germany will be joining them. This family has a son our Todd's age and a 13 y/o daughter. The mother thought the boys would have each other and the girls would have each other - and perhaps they would do somethings together.
My inquiry centers on the fact that part of the time will be spent at South Beach (topless) since top freedom is something the mother and daughter enjoy and certainly the cousin from Germany."
Well to bring you all full cycle Todd just got back home a few days ago after having a WONDERFUL time in Florida with his friends. Although I do think Todd was a "bit taken" by their German cousin. We told him no pictures of breasts. Thanks again for your comments and support. We believe we made the right decision.
Apr 15, 2008
Topfreedom by: Kaitline
We have one son who is now 14. We travel to Europe once every year. Our son had been to topfree beaches since he was 2. We have discussed the differences between many American beaches and many beaches in Europe with him. He has always seemed very comfortable, I say if he is comfortable let him go and enjoy (maybe when things change and you can vacation you might try a topfree beach as a family - its great). I will try to attach a pix of him in Marseilles when he was 11. He is the one sitting on the edge of the surf.
We only have one son and travel once a year to Europe. Our son, now 14, has been to topfree beaches since he was old enough to go to the beach. We have discussed the differences between many American beaches and many European beaches. He is very comfortable in the topfree environment. Will try to include a pix of him at age 11 (your son's age) while we were in Marseille. He is the boy sitting on the edge of the surf.
I grew up in the 70 and 80’s on a farmette. We had five acres and grew fruits and vegetables for our family. I was one of 8 kids. Six boys and me, child # 2 and my sister # 7. I guess you can understand when I say we had little privacy. We each had a pair of pjs – that we were not to wear, but were to be kept “just in case”. So we slept in various ways – underwear, or tee shirts or often in the hot weather nude. With six brothers my sister and I certainly knew what boys looked like – at all ages and they knew what girls looked like.
We would work “the farm” for a few hours each day in the summer and then off to the outdoor shower with no door and then right into the pool for hours of fun. We swam nude and thought nothing of it. Isn’t that the way every family swam? After all keeping up with laundry for the 10 of us was enough without complicating it with bathing suits. I went barefoot and braless most of the summer, except on Sundays. I still hate to wear a bra. I was often topless with my brothers as were worked on “the farm” or just played many hours of soccer and basketball topfree. We had great tans with little or no tans lines and we didn’t even try. I thought if my brothers didn’t have to wear a shirt why did I? Then along came my little sister who was seven years younger and as I entered puberty she went around without a top and so did I.
I have said all of that to say that my brothers and I were comfortable with me and my sister being topless. So if you son is comfortable why not let him go, sounds like he would appreciate the vacation. I think it is healthy.
Mar 24, 2008
Young daughter by: Anonymous
My husband and I have one daughter. Every three year since she was 4 we have taken her to Disney and then driven over to the East Coast of FL to visit relatives and then spend a few days at SouthBeach. I love being topless (both sunning and swimming are so much better - not quite ready for being nude). We never felt the need to give our daughter a top when at South Beach and she never seemed to mind or notice. As she got older we thought perhaps at perhaps 7 or 10 she might want a top. I always brought one along, but never mentioned it. Surely we thought at 13as she was budding she would want a top and so we gave her the option - she choose topless. Then last year when we were there she was 16 and nicely developed and again she opted for topfree. I think given the choose and right environment many children would prefer to be topfee. I discussed your query with my husband and wondered if we had a boy what we would have done - and we came to the conclusion the same thing we did with our daughter. We hope your son enjoys his entire vacation.
Mar 24, 2008
Topfreedom! by: Kelly
Kelly - I live in the Netherlands and am a mom with three boys (13, 11 and 10) and the beaches here as in most of Europe you will find are topfree - so my boys are very comfortable with it including seeing their mom...it is the way things are here- -- we are not afraid of human breasts and I think you will find that we have a healthier outlook and alot less curiosity about the human body. While I know you live in the USA I think if your son is comfrotable and with people you trust I would let him do what he chooses in this matter.
Mar 11, 2008
My Experience by: Kathi
Katie,
I have boys now 13 y/o and 15 y/o and we have taken them to many topfree beaches in Europe since they were toddlers. I just love the topfreedom. They didn't wear bathing suits until they were 7 or 8 - no need. We have been to SB several times and the boys take it all in stride...I think boys this age are more "turned on" by bikinis then by monokinis. If you and your husband are comfortable with this family - then lay it out for your son and see what he says (I can only guess). After all if you nursed him is has seen breast from day one...their is nothing wrong with a women's breast. Hope he can go and enjoy!!
