my daughter who is 7, going to be 8 in just over a week and her best friend got into a fight. and the other mother will not allow them to play together anymore. my daughter is devestated. They have been best friends since they were 5 and spent almost all of their free time together. they had gotten into a fight before and she had grounded them from each other for 1 month. this altercation took place after they had been playing together all day (spent too much time together that day-my fault). i had previously told my daughter that she needed to have nina (her friend) help her clean up their mess before she goes home. on numerous occasions they would make a huge mess in her room and then nina would go home and jordyn (my daughter) and i would spend hours cleaning her room-they would dress up in all of her clothes and it was like a bomb went off. anyway, my daughters version of events goes like this.....nina wanted to go home and jordyn asked her to help clean the room, nina said she just wanted to go home, my daughter got upset and apparently grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her-i believe that she left fingernail marks in her shoulders. Was that horribly wrong-absolutely....does the punishment outweight the crime...? it has been 6 months now, she still cries about it several times a week. she has most definately learned a lesson and would not do it again. problem also being that my daughter is very shy..she doesnt make friends easily because of this. when she and nina were friends nina would tell her if she hung out with other people she wouldnt be her friend anymore. unhealthy, yes...i discussed this with both of them. and now at school, nina will tell her she wants to be friends again but she is not allowed to. but when jordyn makes other friends nina tells them not to be friends with her and then tells them about their fight. thing is they are kids, they make mistakes...they learn from them. but should the lesson be ...hey dont forgive? i have tried to speak with nina's mom...she acted kind of indiferrent..and says oh well maybe when they grow up then they wont do these things, until then they see each other and school and thats enough. i dont understand her point of view, these girls were together almost daily...my daughter only wanted from santa this year her friend back, now its almost her birthday and thats what she wants.....please any advice? as this has just been eating me up for 6 months now as to how to help...i had originally thought it would blow over, but doesnt look like that will happen, when i realized that it wasnt going to thats when i decided to try talking to her mom-i felt it was best if the girls tried to work it thru on their own before i interferred, but they seem to want to be friends again, it is just nina's mom who doesnt want them to.and well here we are now...please any advice..................
