My usually good behaved daughter stole a toy from her friend today
by Noom
(South Africa)
Please help me... When I picked my 9 year kid up from school today she had a toy that she said she won in a prize giving - I know there was going to be a prize giving some time and believed her when she told me. Later on she came to me and said that the toy was "placed" in her bag and that she thinks it might be someone else's. I then knew that she lied from the start and told her to think very carefully about what she is going to tell me next because I knew that she was lying. She then admitted that she took the toy from another girl in her class. How do I handle this? She is normally such a well-behaved little girl - I really cannot complain about anything - she does her tasks at home and never talk backs and really has a soft heart. She was crying tremendously when she told the truth. I have now grounded her for a week without any tv or cell phone but I really do not know how the handle the situation at school. Does she admits it in front of the teacher and the whole class and then be turned against by all her friends and be treated badly? I know it is a very bad thing that she has done - I have explained it to her in so many words (I was really upset). After our talk, I am sure she will not take anything again from anyone else - she is too scared of jail time. But please, help me ... how will I handle it tomorrow at school, or rather - how must she handle it?
Comments for
My usually good behaved daughter stole a toy from her friend today
I wouldn't be too, too hard on yourself or your daughter. Kids are not perfect and deal with things every day that are new for them, such as coveting something of someone elses, or jealousy, etc. It sounds like her own guilt is what got to her in the long run, which is good. It shows that she has a conscience.
Still, stealing is very serious. I would not make her return the item in front of the entire school, however, for her to learn that she TRULY must take responsibility for her actions and not just accept punishment, is to have to admit to the person that she wronged, just what she did. I would call the teacher and try to arrange for a time for you, your daughter, the teacher and the student to get together privately and have your daughter return the item along with a very sincere apology and promise to never do anything like this again, that is, as along as you trust the teacher to keep this private.
Good luck.