My thirteen year old seems to have no conscience or pain threshold
by Kim
(Tennessee)
Help! My son is thirteen and antaginishes our whole family i love him dearly this has been going on since he was eight when he got mad at my brother and kicked my car front windshield and busted it! Wearing is butt out no matter who does it he just laughes he dnt care if he gets grounded! But now he thinks he is eighteen instead of thirteen and thinks he can do what ever he wants ! For instance i took him and his sister to a skate inn told them both i would be back at eleven to pick them up i get there his sisters there hes not without getting a hold of me though he says he tried he had a friend bring him home it scared the heck out of me so i grounded him he says he didnt do anything wrong and walks out the door runs away next thing i knos his uncle is bringing him home cause he called his uncle to pick him up he was so fried i had to watch him all night his respirations heart all vitals i work in the nursing filled so to save him from going to juvey or mental hospital i watched him he got up mext morning went to school came home started again went out the door i called the law had him picked up and they are starting us on a program called camelot its an actual therapist comes to your home and evaluates him first see if he needs meds or wat and works with whole family to help see if they can fix things the problem is now my son is madder then heck that he may be forced to take meds he was diagnosed with by polar at eight they put him on meds he was normal kid his dad and i being divorced when he was in the picture bucked and made them take him off meds and i been dealing off and on with this behavior since his dad is in a mental hospital right now for they called me told me he has threatened when he gets out he is gonna kill me for me to take all protective measures that he is bipolar and skitzo i dnt want my son growing up and being were he is now!!
Comments for
My thirteen year old seems to have no conscience or pain threshold
Kim, in my opinion Willy's comment is a little harsh on you the loving parents of the 13 year old lad they are bringing up. I'm sure that they did not spank the boy extremely hard. They just wanted to get through to him that's all. Sometimes one has to inflict some pain and shame if this is the only way to get results. But perhaps in future just a little reddening of his boy bum is all that's needed to get this attention and get the message accross. Keep on loving him and hopefully things will turn out for the better!
Jan 13, 2012
Sad boy by: Willy
Kim, your boy is really a sad 13 year old. I also found it sad that you found the need to spank him and others did the same thing in the family. You call this spanking wearing his butt out. The implications are that he was spanked naked. To spank a 13 year old with problems severely is really not good. To spank a boy unclothed is worse. To have someone who is not the father or mother spank the naked lad is worse again. I understand that all of you tried to do this spanking for his good. You wanted to break through his isolation. But the way you did it sent wrong messages; he feels lost worse now his dignity is gone. To spank lads well into puberty is harmful and undignified. What he screams for is love, affection and acceptance. So change your attitude, he is not hopeless as you suggest.
Dec 29, 2011
Do your best..... by: Belamby
Kim, It was a bit hard to understand what you really meant to say about your son. But I tried as much as I could to get to the heart of your problem so here goes: In life we don't always have a choice in how our kids turn out. This youngster has problems which are accentuated by his father being out of the picture in a mental hospital. Some bright points appear to be that: A) He still stays at home B) Most importantly he has your love and concern C) Has an uncle he can call on and seems to care for him D) Does not appear to harm/injure/hurt those around him E) Is apparently not involved in immoral sexual behaviour/stealing or violence F) has friends G) Undergoes some therapy //////// I was a bit dismayed that you could not bring out even one good point about this boy. Also, I would have liked some particulars about the physical punishment which was meted out to your boy, you were rather vague. You mentioned that this punishment as wearing his butt out. I take it that he was spanked by you and several others. I hope that you are aware that any correction must be done to benefit the child ultimately. I further hope that it was your intention, if you felt that physical corrective methods were used that it would benefit him. Spanking (if this is what you feel is appropriate)-should always be the very last resort and should be brief and moderate, more as a warning than to hurt the child. It should never be bare bum. Since I don't have much to work on, I can at this stage only say; do your best for the boy, realising that if you cannot change him, just do your utmost for his welfare, and keep loving this needy lad.B.
