My 9 year old son is very sensitive and tends to cry at the slightest thing. He is very aware of this and is anxious that he will get bullied when he goes to high school. How can I help to toughen him up so he is ready to face the big crule world of high school. He is more academic than sporty and feels this will make him an easy target.
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My 9 yr old son is a cry baby and very sensitive.
Another good book for parents of boys by: Anonymous
I, too, have a sensitive, emotional, dramatic boy who cries a lot. It's not so much the crying often that frustrates me. It's the never ending crying. He'll just go on and on, at which point I take him to his room and tell him he can come out when he's calm. This works but not if we need to leave the house at that time. I've also taught him how to breathe through it to calm himself down. It works if he'll do it, but sometimes he's too upset or just too stubborn and just continues with the tantrum, the whining, the crying. I just don't always have the time or the energy to hold him until he's calm. Besides, I'm not sure if that's even what's best for him. I'm not always going to be there. He needs to know how to calm himself down without me. Anyways, I have found Dr. James Dobson's book, "Bringing Up Boys" pretty helpful. Especially for parents who are concerned about their son being homosexual or becoming homosexual. Good luck everyone.
Aug 01, 2010
hi by: Anonymous
Okay, for all of you out there worried about your "crybaby" kids, instead of trying to "toughen them up" and make them act like "real men", which will only traumatize them more, you should become more familiar with their temperament. From what I've read, it sounds like all these kids are what Dr. Elaine Aron calls "highly sensitive". It's not a bad thing, quite the opposite in fact; this trait, seen in 15-20% of the population, has many great assets, including a great empathy for people, and an amazing ability to notice details and subtleties. Unfortunately, like all temperaments, high sensitivity does have its down side; excessive sensitivity to noise, light, scratchy clothing, etc. a, relatively low pain threshold, and a tendency to cry easily. I highly recommend you read Dr. Aron's book "The Highly Sensitive Child" before assuming your kids are abnormal.
Jun 26, 2010
6 year old son by: Anonymous
My 6 year old son is the same way! Especially about group activities. I can tell he feels inferior to the other boys. He says things like "I'm not as strong as they are", and "They are just tougher than me". I have tried to go out with him a lot of times and watch him while he's playing basketball or something with the other kids and tell him how good he's doing and that he runs "super fast"! I do and say everything I can to boost his confidence but it hasn't worked. He gives up after trying something one time. All he wants to do is sit inside where it's safe. Yesterday we took him fishing. I caught a 6 inch long perch...He refused to throw it back when I asked him to (which I only asked him to because I wanted him to be included and have the experience of fishing). He watched his three year old brother throw three fish back into the water without getting hurt or bitten, but still screamed bloody murder when I tried to get him to hold the fish! What am I suppose to do? I know he's anxious, his dad and I seperated when he was one. I can't spend the rest of our lives babying him. How can I teach him to deal with problems and not run from them? and to the people who said parents like us are being insensitive and that we need to step up and do our jobs.....You must not have a whiny son!
Jun 21, 2010
its ok to cry by: Itsoktocry
well, the matter depends on certain things. if your child is fragile but isnt bullied, isnt a bit bratty, or behaves very well, its ok if he or she crys often. if your child is only getting bullied, talk to a counslor. it isnt his/her fault someone is being insensitive. If your child acts bratty or dosnt behave, its time to intervene. If your child crys over something small, like just a small bump on the head, comfort her, but dont over do it. example: oh its ok. (rub bump fo r about 20 sec.). then urge him/her to go back to what theyre doing. after doing that, if he/she dosnt start "toughing up", they may need to be tested for ADHD. good luck.
May 12, 2010
asdf by: Anonymous
Wow, you people are pretty insensitive to your own children. "Irritating?" He's your child! Did you ever stop to think that maybe their behavior is the result of a mental health problem for which they need treatment? Obsessive-compulsive disorder comes to mind. You're talking about a 9 year old kid here, not an adult. Kids need encouragement from strong adult role models, not tired, callous, invalidating disparagement. Step up to the plate and fulfill your obligations as a parent and get your kid the treatment he needs.
Apr 22, 2010
yes by: Anonymous
Mine too. Tonight it was drama over a fly while he wasn't eating dinner. Instead of having to deal with the slapping, scratching and eyes following the fly, I recommended he either eat faster or excuse himself. He had a fit because he couldn't finish his dinner. The kids in school call him crybaby, and it's true. He also has ADHD, kleptomania, compulsive lying, OCD, and is an orphan. Many of the signs were before being orphaned. I also have a sense he may be homosexual. It's a bit more than "sensitive".
Anyway some people, even grown, are over dramatical and such, and I think that's just how he is and will be. For me, not being a lover of drama, it just is irritating (from kids, AND adults, lol).
Jan 14, 2010
sweet child by: Anonymous
My 6 year old will also cry over anything. I think maybe we are also to strict on him. I am worried about him. My husband and I come from backgrounds where manners are everything. I am worried that maybe we have pushed that so much that we took away the fun part about being a child. He is such a kind, well-mannered, loving child but I know that he is being pushed around at school and it breaks my heart. I wish I could give him more confidence, but Im not really sure how.
Oct 04, 2009
Isn't that What We Want by: Anonymous
Dont we encourage our children to demonstrate their true feelings, i.e. cry - so what - I personally think being sensitive is a great thing - and I think society trys to make us feel that our children have to be tough. Sorry I think it is a good thing
Aug 28, 2009
Same problem by: Frustrated Dad
Same thing with my son - cries at small things. He's 7 and not that sporty, but he likes to play - and he could ride a bike (no training wheels) by the age of 6.
We are pretty strict - and maybe that's the issue (especially my wife), but we love him and we do play with him. Our daughter is just over a year younger than him - and she can bully him - which we discourage of course. And sometimes he'll cry.
But the bigger problem is at school, where he gets bullied by one kid..and for some time now(before the new kid arrived) he would cry if he didn't win a game.
Now none of the boys want to play with him so he ends up playing with the girls. Not a good thing as I believe this will damage his confidence in the long run..I just don't know what to do..
Aug 17, 2009
my 9 year old son crys to much by: Anonymous
he is very sensitive and when he doesn't get what he wants he starts to cry
Apr 15, 2009
my son is also sensitive by: Anonymous
I am experiencing the same exact thing. My son is this total love bug, but on the other hand, he cries at the slightest things!! He gets hit with something and then he's off! He is total drama and I'm worried that it's going to affect him negatively in the future. I try to ignore him to get him to "toughen Up" a bit, but he just carries on and on to the point where I have to threaten him by takinga way privledges. This isn't solving the problem though. He doesn't want to participate in sports either. Group play is very difficult as well, and he usually ends up hurt and running into the house... you guessed it.. crying! I dont know what to do.
Feb 29, 2008
What we want in a man? by: giftsofgrace.kids.homepagenow.com
I see this as a need for more love(hugs, kisses)- not to say you don't already. I would suggest a pet-dog /cat, or a stufed animal, that they pick right from the store, to hug and love. I think it is just pent-up feelings, that need to be released. Don't forget later on when he grows to be a man, he will be told enough, that he's "not to cry," or "show feelings" as this is not "manly" He needs to be able to have a way to show these- to someone, or something that he loves. hope this helps.
