My 6yr old son says "I dont care, Ill play fine all by myself" Whenever he has an altercation with another kid
by lauren
(Newton, NJ USA)
His dad left when he was 2, didnt see him again until this June (my son was 5) I allowed his dad to come and spend a few hours with him (I have full custody but would never object to the idea my son see his father) He went out with him to Chuckie Cheese and a toy store. His father told him he will come and see him once a month and that maybe one day my son could go and visit him at his house with his girlfirend and his kids (he told him his brother & sister) My son seemed fine after this visit. His father didnt return the next month or any thereafter. He called and said that unless my son comes and spends time with his "new" family he wont see him. The problem I am noticing is that as soon as a friend does something and doesnt say "sorry" EVEN when things are an accident he refuses to talk to them and work it out, he simply walks away and actually hold grudges. I have explained many times the importance of friendship and he has good manners but fails to use the tools I have given him. He actually cried one day when a friend said she was going home for a minute to grab something to eat. He has friends in school and has no problems except for a few selected kids on the block. I got a kitten and became severly allergic to it after 2 days, I told my son "Mommy is sick and I cant keep the cat, Im sorry" He cried and said he wished I was not allergic..." Then he refused to play with the cat and when I said it was okay to still love it until we find it another home, its not his fault...He said "I dont care about the kitten, get rid of it and I never want to see it again" I thought maybe it was a way of him not dealing with it so he refused to "feel" anything after he already cried, it was as if he shut down. Anyone see any correalation between abandoment of father and inability to attach?
Comments for
My 6yr old son says "I dont care, Ill play fine all by myself" Whenever he has an altercation with another kid
Your son is definitely dealing with abandonment issues. The father needs to understand that he is the one that created this and he is going to have to go slow on the childs terms, not on his own. He needs to go slowly and convince the child that he is going to stick around. If not, well then, not at all is better than every now and then. I have several family members in that situation and my brother in law has actually told the father of his stepdaughters that if he is not going to be around regularly, then he better not come around at all. The primary custodial parent is the one that has to deal with all of the fallout and see the heart break and disappointment. Don't let the dad push you around. You have an obligation to your child to keep him safe both physically and emotionally and you are trying your best to do that. If the Dad won't work with you, then he is working against what is best for your son. Good luck.
