my 12 year old is talking constantly on the phone and lying about being with a boy
by Joy
(Mn.)
My daughter is 12 and has been conversing on the phone (without my knowledge) for hours to this boy, she also asked to go to the movies with her friend but come to find out it was with this same boy. She is not allowed to date at this age and I'm not going to call this her boyfriend. She has not been able to be trusted to be left alone with her other two siblings because she will be on the phone calling him to come up. We need some help, as of right now she is only allowed to go to soccer and basketball practices otherwise she is grounded for the rest of the school year.
Comments for
my 12 year old is talking constantly on the phone and lying about being with a boy
We also found letters with bloody violent imaginings and wishes against a boy who had apparently dumped her for another girl. The rest of the diary talking about her "walk with Jesus" and "fasting and praying" and her youth group. Now, you can imagine our horror and concern, can't you? We called her mother and showed her the diary. Imagine our surprise when suddenly the diary disappeared (they had taken it with them the night we discussed it all) and suddenly everything was MY fault for, wait for it, here it comes,... "invading her privacy" which apparently the judge agreed with, not at all concerned with what we had found. She was also supported in this by her pastor. Needless to say her father and I are very disillusioned, saddened, and horrified at all of the support the mother and daughter have found for this absurd excuse. My heart is broke and I don't think it will ever mend. This all happened 20 months ago and we have not seen her since. At least my son's and I haven't, nor has she called, written, etc. She is very rude and short when her father calls her. And as I said, her mother won back full custody. My advice to you is this. Stick to your guns with your daughter. Although, I might say that maybe being grounded a year is a little bit harsh. Give her opportunity to earn back your trust, a little at a time. And don't trick her, or TRY to catch her, but be honest and let her know that she is being given a chance, but always check on her, always let her know that you care enough to check, to spy, to invade her privacy. This is love, even if my daughter didn't care to have it. Good luck.
Oct 15, 2009
Feel for you by: Terri
Joy, I truly feel for you AND I admire your morals and what you are trying to teach your daughter. My husband and I have the same rules in our house and we literally lost his daughter over it. You see, her mother DID allow her to see boys, accusing us of "not trusting" our daughter. Funny how the mom sounds just like the 12 year old. Suffice it to say even when she was just 12, our daughter was still probably much more mature than her own mother. Due to rules, routine, and structure in our home as well as morals and ethics, we have lost our daughter to her mother. The real shocker here is that both the judge and the mother's attorney berated my husband in court for these morals. Imagine his shock when the judge said, "Exactly what is your problem with her dating before the age of 16?" I told him he had a front row seat viewing as to why our country's moral compass is so very far askew! When our daughter "snuck" and lied about a boyfriend, she too had lost our trust. She was grounded only a short while. However, she became very distant, staying in her room and acting strange. We thought she acted like she was doing drugs. Now, we both believe (as does AZ's attorney general as voiced in a public announcement commercial) that as parents, we have an obligation to "snoop" as it were if we suspect something amiss with our children. Imagine our surprise at finding her diary and written inside were fantasies about turning the garbage disposal on with my hand in it, and referring to her poor Dad as her "dripping penis of a father" for not letting her have boyfriends. Referring to both of our son's as "f*@!ng hating them because they are so f*#@!ng annoying!" continued
