I am a single mother with an 8 year old son who still sleeps with me. Brief history - I have been single since he was born. We lived with my parents for about six years after he was born and he had no choice but to sleep with me. When we finally moved into our own apartment, he slept with me for a while but then eventually started sleeping in his own room. Now that we moved into our house, he has slept in his room a few times, but most nights he sleeps with me. He has said that he is scared to sleep in his room by himself, but he is also afraid that he will lose me. He is in many activities, and he is confident. He doesn't like me to call him baby or treat him like a baby because he says he is a big boy. And he is not a timid or scared child. He's not scared of new environments and he adjusts well, he is not scared to be alone in the house if I am outside, etc. I know he should be sleeping in his room, but I don't really see this as a problem. I am not married and I never allow others to spend the night with me. My friend says I am causing him more harm than I think. Any advice?
Comments for
Is my son to old to still be sleping w/ me?
You are babying the lad. He needs his own bed and so do you. Wean him off this slowly-not al at once. Correpondent nanna Lily says, 'if he likes to stay in bed with you then it's ok! No, it's not up to him. If he has his own room, then make his bed special, nice tiger quilt or something like that. Have a quiet talk to him and explain that boys his age: (something like you are really growing into a big boy) 'mummy likes you now to sleep in your own bed, now and again you can stay with mum, but that't your bed, I need mine. If he objects or cries-simply insist. Now it's a minor problem, later a serious problem. So start now and help your lovely cuddlesome boy. As well you are the type of mum still to bathe the boy. It is fine if you see him in the bath and check on his development now and again. But like being in bed with you he should learn about privacy and boy hygene. He really should have more male influence. Best if a trusted male relative could teach him how to wash under his foreskin, arms and bum, and then leave him to it and let him develop independance. Best to you and your lovely little lad!
Feb 11, 2011
ask your son by: nanna lilly
Providing your child feels happy sleeping beside you, then there's no problem. It is important that you allow your child to grow up though. If it is your need imposed upon hien it is surely time that you overcome your fear of being alone as this will only pass onto your child and cause problems with independence in the future. You may not have long left before your child wishes for privacy or feels silly as he finds out that non of his friends sleep with their parent/s. My boy still adored a cuddle in my bed in the mornings but always goes to bed in his own room. Ask your child if he would like to have his own bed etc, he may need preparing for invites of sleepovers. If it's a quick NO, for a response then your ok for a while longer. when he is ready, you will have to let go and cope with your own fears maturely. ALWAYS REMEMBER children do not learn from what you tell them but by how you behave.....oh heck...another set of worries. Enjoy the love and smiles, they are not children for long. Best wishes.
Aug 07, 2009
WHO IS TO SAY WHAT IS WRONG by: CEE MOM TOO
HONESTLY IN TODAYS SOCIETY, THERE IS A CLICHE FOR EVERYTHING....
I SLEEP WITH MY 11 YEAR OLD ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF THE BIG SCREEN AND TRUTH IS I GET SCARED AT NIGHT IN MY MOTHERS HOME....SHE IN ASSISTED LIVING.
CHILDREN AND MOTHERS....I DO NOT THINK IT IS BAD NOR IS IT RIGHT....WE JUST GOTTA FIGURE WHY AND THEN ALL THE TIME IS NOT OKAY.
i AM A SINGLE MOM AND SOMETIMES MY DAUGHTER WHO IS 20 AND AWAY AT COLLEGE ....WE ALL GO TO A HOTEL ON A TRIP OR EVEN FOR FUN SLEEP IN THE BED AND WATCH MOVIES.....GIRLFRIEND...THERE IS A PLACE AND TIME....AND MORE OF THEM SLEEPING IN THEIR OWN BED WITHOUT US AROUND IS PROBABLY THE BEST.....SO I AM GUILTY OF IT TOO
