Is it normal for a 4 year old to ask everyone else for things she wants?
by Fran
( BC Canada)
When ever we are around a group of people we are familiar with, our daughter thinks nothing of asking them for something, like a drink of juice, or some food she sees that they have.
Recently we were on vacation and she went to the cabin at the end of our units to a family member of a group of people whom we are very familiar with and asked for a drink of juice, the next day it was some chips that she saw on the table. I have always told her that she must ask for something before taking it. And she is very good about asking and using her manners. But there are members of my extended family that think it rude, and will reprimand ME when she does this. I feel like there are so many subtleties to politeness and etiquette that I try to teach her the basics and make those my expectations and teach when I can along the way the more complex things, like that it isn't ok to ask every person you see for something.
She has, from the beginning, been admired and given things, of course I have always been asked first if it is ok, and so I am not sure if I have created this problem my self or if I am worrying about something that is really not a big deal at this point so long as the people in question don't feel uncomfortable or obligated. To that end I did speak with the families involved and they have all said that it was not a problem for them and that if there was an issue they would come and ask me before hand.
I don't want to hover over my children and constantly make them feel like every little thing they do wrong is a big deal, but there are members in my family that will not let me be the parent with out getting in their 2 cents as well.
So what would you do?
Comments for
Is it normal for a 4 year old to ask everyone else for things she wants?
Fran, Congratulations on being a responsible, caring, parent! That is one big hurdle right there. The longer that I live, the more parents I meet that just don't care, or at least only care until it interferes with their own selfish needs and wants! Next, I would tell your family members, nicely but firmly, that unless they intend on living your life and raising your child then perhaps they should focus on their own lives and their own shortcomings and leave yours to you.
