in desperate need of parenting tips with 7 year old
my boyfriend has a 7 year old daughter whose mom neglected her and he just got out of prison and he lets his daughter get away with anything how do i tell him he cant do that just because he wasn't there for her he is now
Comments for
in desperate need of parenting tips with 7 year old
It sounds as if your boyfriend is dealing with a lot of guilt over the past. Many times, w/out realizing it, we do what makes us feel better at the time, thinking it is also what is best for the child. That is not always true. Also, if there is abuse in your boyfriend's background, that may be cause for why he finds it difficult to discipline correctly when his daughter needs to be corrected or disciplined. It is important to realize that NO discipline often yields the same anger in a child as abuse does. If his daughter was to do something that would harm her physically like, touching a hot iron, he would not hesitate to act quickly to stop her. His main concern wouldn't even be whether or not she was a little upset about it. His main concern would be for her overall well being. This is the same principle that holds true when she is disobedient. Though there may not be immediate harmful results such as a burn, life will give hard consequences later on when she does not have an ability to respect authority. This is why we have to realize that if, in a moment of defiance and disobedience, the child wins the struggle, you as a parent have an uphill battle to fight until the "power" is back in the parents hand. Children are smart and they know when they have "the upper hand" or the control. The problem is, they are immature and they will destroy themselves with that power. If she is 7 and unruly, what will that look like when she is 17? You can look down the road and see the outcome, so it has to be dealt with now while there is still hope. I call it the 10 year rule. That is why parents are supposed to govern and lead their kids. Kids are not to lead parents. This little girl is looking to her daddy to make her feel safe and secure. Part of that security comes from wanting to know that he loves her enough to tell her no and stick to it, and then give consequences if necessary. This will cause her to love and respect him more. But only when it is done firmly and lovingly. There is a difference in abuse and loving discipline. The two don't even look the same. The difference is in the heart attitude of the parent who is administering it. Hope all of that helps.
