What do I do?? I saw my 14yr old son & 16yr old niece kissing passionately. And it is my son's first kiss! We told them not to communicate to each other anymore...my son is having a hard time because they are really close but this is wrong. He said he cannot help himself thinking about it. Aside from taking out their phones and talking to them about how serious this matter is, what else should I do?? Please help!
I just wanted to weigh in on this issue...my nephew and his 1st cousin (ages 12 and 13) also kissed. His siblings witnessed the incident and found it inappropriate and reported it to the parents and myself. My opinion is that it is wrong and it does disturb me. I understand that in some locations/cultures this may be accepted practice, but I still do not like it. It is not my child and although seeing the two of them affectionate together disturbs me, it is not my place to say anything. However, I just add this anecdote to exemplify that it does make some people uncomfortable and I would consult a professional and handle the situation to the extent that you feel is appropriate for your family. I would do everything in power to constructively bring an end to that type of behavior without exacserbating the situation.
Feb 16, 2012
Not ok by: VanP
I kissed & experminted with a few of my cousins when we were very young. I come from a VERY large family with 20 first cousins on my mother side & 21 first cousins on my dads.But only 2 of my male cousins were still trying to be fresh into their teens. It was inapporiate & wrong. The other female cousins & I tried to avoid them. We do not live in England 50yrs ago nor in Biblical times, the other kids will make fun of them & think that it is wrong if they continue to behave in this manner. I would let them know as you have that it is not acceptable. You cannot keep it from happening but at least you will know that you have done your best. ~ I think that all of these people saying it is ok have some unresolved family issues themselves.
Jan 26, 2012
Victoria and Albert by: Anonymous
Victoria and Albert were first cousins. Nine kids, and no concerns that I am aware of. Didn't seem to cause too much of a scandal in England - and they know their scandals! :)
Jan 23, 2012
Cousins by: Anonymous
Had relatives who were first cousins and got married. They had been at it for years (family scuttlebutt.) But here they are years later, 2 kids and still happy. So who's to say?
It's legal in our state. And theres a couple people who say its in the Bible that its ok (no expert myself so I cant swear to that.) Some family members gossiped about it, but apparently they weren't the only cousins getting friendly - and some at the wedding.
Never did much with any of my cousins, but i guess its not all that horrible. Id talk to them, but i dont think i would stop them from seeing each other.
Jan 20, 2012
Incest? by: Anonymous
In most States and in most countries (and in the Bible apparently) first cousins are not considered incestuous. Although many frown upon it, it is not generally prohibited. I can understand the concern, but as the previous poster noted, they will just find a way to do it behind your back. And who knows - they may actually be in love. More likely it is teenage experimentation, but one never knows. I say talk to them definitely. And find out what the laws are in your state/country. You do have to guide your kids according to your principles - so I respect that. But from a social/legal standpoint they may be well within their rights - once they are adults.
Jan 15, 2012
not ok!! by: Anonymous
I could understand if they were a bit younger and "experimenting" like many kids do, but they are teenagers and old enough to understand that what they are doing is not ok. I wouldn't get angry and have them not communicate with one another because in all reality they are family and would have to see each other sometime. Or else they will do it behind your back. What i would do is sit them both down and see what their intentions really are by them kissing in the matter that they did. If it was curiosity then i would leave it alone but if they see each other in a sexual way then i would be concerned. Incest is not ok!! I wish you nothing but the best, and i hope for your family that it was nothing but a simple kiss.. Good luck!
Jan 11, 2012
It's not wrongNEW by: Anonymous
Hey, stranger. I'm a 14 year old boy, and Kissing your cousin isn't bad. I've kissed my cousin before, quite passionately. The only real problem is if there is innapropriate touching or sexual activities going on. Allow them to kiss, but limit it. It's honestly that simple.
Dec 14, 2011
Leave them alone by: Anonymous
Why are you punishing them? I kissed a couple of my cousins - no harm done. We did have a lot of fun though. The more you say no - the more he will want it. Be glad it was just kissing - but be prepared for it to be more some day.
Dec 13, 2011
kissing by: Anonymous
What's wrong with them kissing? A lot of cousins experiment and try things out. They are comfortable with each other. At least you know they care about each other - not some stranger just trying to take advantage. As long as it is mutually consensual, why the prohibition? You will either know about it or they will sneak around you. I suppose you could throw the kid out on the street - not sure what that would accomplish. Tell them they have your permission and put your attention on more important matters.
