Recently my husband was deployed with the army and will be away for "no less than 400 days". My 5 yr old daughter has not been handling this well. She's pretty much a daddy's girl and his working schedule has always allowed him to spend lots of time with her, where I'm only home on weekends because of work.
Before my husband left, he was in charge of taking her to the bus stop for school in the morning and picking her up. Then he was with her until I got home from work. Now I have to get her up 2 hours earlier than normal and take her to daycare, and then pick her up at daycare at 5:30pm. The daycare takes her to school and picks her up. My husband and I agreed that it would be in our daughter's best interest for me to go to part time while she's in school, so I have.
However, her behavior is getting worse. She is only 5 and doesn't understand where her dad is no matter how well I explain it. I will ask her to do a simple task such as wash her hands and she'll scream like a banshee, kick me, and tell me that she doesn't like me. She doesn't sleep anymore either, and even though she'll be up at 7am, she won't fall asleep until 3am. Nighttime is a constant battle.
I really don't want my husband to come home and think I can't handle things, he has enough to worry about now. Please help.
give her some time to adjust to the new situation by: Judy Hansen
Hi Kate, My heart goes out to you on reading about your situation. I can imagine that it must be a difficult time for both you and your child right now. Perhaps it will take your daughter some time to come to terms with the fact that daddy will be away for sometime.
At this age, she probably still does not fully understand why her daddy is not with her for such a long time. And it may not help if the incorrect information is being conveyed to her either. E.g. could be telling her something which is not the truth. If you had tried explaining to her the truth, don't take it too hard on yourself.
What i can think of is perhaps to take time out with her. Like going on a short getaway with just the both of you - to build on mother and daughter bonding. The important thing is not to show your frustrations to her as she may get upset that daddy is away and mummy is 'bullying' her. Try your best to be patience and make her feel that mummy is here for her.
Its not easy i know and sometimes we get upset that our partner is not with us during our difficult moments with our kids. Try not to take your daughter's remark about not liking you too personally...i know this sounds crazy but kids sometimes say things as they feel it is. But it may be just for the moment of not knowing how to handle their emotions.
I'll be praying for you that you'll do just fine. Let me know if theres anymore things i can be praying for you too...
