Bad Behavior In Children

A misbehaved child is one of the worst nightmares you can have as a parent. Before becoming a parent, many of us have seen children being obstinate, yelling, showing anger and defiance, and causing unwanted troubles of many other sorts.

In our minds, almost all of us seeing such a child, have secretly hoped that our own children would never behave as bad as that. In the unfortunate case that we do have to face such a situation with our own children, it helps tremendously to understand the problems our children face and solve the issue permanently and properly.

What are the different types of bad behaviors that children tend to demonstrate? There are a number. The most prominent ones have either a motif of aggression or passiveness. Each of them can be further subdivided based on the exact symptoms shown by the child. Anger is one of the worst kinds or aggressive behaviors. A child with the anger syndrome would tend to demonstrate anger at the smallest event that is not of his/her choice. A further aggravated form of anger is often the violence symptoms. The child tends to be destructive. S/he would try to break things into pieces for even the smallest of reasons. S/he might tend to bully other children at times. None of these are great signs of the mental health of your child.

Another form of aggression is yelling. The child would yell at the smallest cause. A yelling child can disturb you to no end, although yelling in itself is probably a milder form of aggression. Yet another aggressive behavior among children is the oppositional, defiant behavior syndrome. The child would actively oppose anything that s/he is offered. S/he would refuse to listen to the parents, and be driven only by his/her own thoughts and actions. She would try to defy each and every rule and regular s/he is expected to follow.

The other most prominent form of bad behavior that children tend to show is rooted at passiveness.

Passive behaviors, too, have some more subtle variations. Silence is one such behavior.

The child tends to remain silent in this case, no matter what you do or say. The child would seem to have given up any effort to respond to you, irrespective of whether you praise him/her or show disagreement.

The child would typically not respond when you call him/her or when you speak to him/her. S/he will simply seem ignorant of any activity. The silence factor is also accompanied often by indifference of the child to other affairs. Silence and indifference is often said to occur when the child wants to hide something from the parent either in the short or in the long term.

The child may still keep enjoying most of the parts of life that s/he used to enjoy before starting to show such symptoms. In the bad cases, the passive behavior may gradually morph into depression. Depression can be a serious dumping factor for your child. A depressed child will almost never enjoy any part of life. Your best and most expensive efforts to cheer up the child will normally go to vain. The child will feel a deep dark sinking feeling inside, and the feeling will remain. The child may or may not be able to express it, so be on the alert if your child is showing chronic silence syndrome. In fact, it is suggested that you pay a visit to the child-psychologist in such a case, since a depression in childhood is much more than a mere state of mind. It affects the subconscious of the child with a tremendous negative impact.

Among the other kinds of behavior, there would be manifestations of the child-like trends of mischievous behavior that go too far. Being overtly talkative is one of them, if they do it on purpose to grab attention. Demonstrating obnoxious behavior is a problem that children commonly show, and in particularly in front of an audience. Sticking the tongue out, not letting others talk by shouting and disturbing others by simply physically falling on top of them are some of the more common forms.

The question that would bother you is that why would the child want to behave badly, and how to stop the child from continuing such behavior? The philosophy to the answer of the first one is easy. The child would behave badly only if s/he sees some incentive in that. That creates the foundation of the philosophy of the second answer – if you provide the child with enough incentive to behave well, then the child is going to stop behaving badly. Remember that every human being has a good corner inside the heart. A good life is a matter of identifying and bringing out the good corner. And your child is no exception to this.
The child’s incentive to behave badly is usually rooted into one of a few well-known bases. They are power, control and fear. The child would act aggressively if s/he wants to enjoy more power and control. If s/he believes that it is the aggressive behavior that would give him/her the power and control s/he desires over you and over the real life situations, that is when s/he would behave aggressively. On the other hand, if the child wants to conceal facts and truths from you and is afraid that s/he may face unwelcome consequences if you find out such truths (for example, bad performance in school) then that is when they tend to show negative and passive behavioral trends.

As a parent, you would want to make sure that you understand what is wrong with your child. Once you understand the nature of the problem, you would want to assertively talk to your child about the problem. To your surprise, you would find your child starting to respond more normally than before. This would indicate that you are no track. Once you get this head-start, you can leverage the advantage and understand the entire problem from your child. Then, making the child understand the notions of consequences and responsibilities of our own works, you need to enlighten the child’s mind on how to solve the problems. In general, make sure that you play and stay the role model in your child’s mind, since that makes it a lot easier for you to gain your child’s confidence and thus get rid of the problem as a whole.