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A
misbehaved child is one of the worst nightmares
you can have as a parent. Before becoming a
parent, many of us have seen children being
obstinate, yelling, showing anger and defiance,
and causing unwanted troubles of many other
sorts. In our minds, almost all of us seeing
such a child, have secretly hoped that our own
children would never behave as bad as that.
In the unfortunate case that we do have to face
such a situation with our own children, it helps
tremendously to understand the problems our
children face and solve the issue permanently
and properly.
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What are the different
types of bad behaviors that children tend to demonstrate?
There are a number. The most prominent ones have either
a motif of aggression or passiveness. Each of them
can be further subdivided based on the exact symptoms
shown by the child. Anger is one of the worst kinds
or aggressive
behaviors. A child with the anger syndrome
would tend to demonstrate anger at the smallest event
that is not of his/her choice. A further aggravated
form of anger is often the violence symptoms. The
child tends to be destructive. S/he would try to break
things into pieces for even the smallest of reasons.
S/he might tend to bully other children at times.
None of these are great signs of the mental health
of your child.
Another form of aggression
is yelling. The child would yell at the smallest cause.
A yelling child can disturb you to no end, although
yelling in itself is probably a milder form of aggression.
Yet another aggressive behavior among children is
the oppositional, defiant behavior syndrome.
The child would actively oppose anything that s/he
is offered. S/he would refuse to listen to the parents,
and be driven only by his/her own thoughts and actions.
She would try to defy each and every rule and regular
s/he is expected to follow.
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The other most
prominent form of bad behavior that children
tend to show is rooted at passiveness. Passive
behaviors, too, have some more subtle variations.
Silence is one such behavior. The child tends
to remain silent in this case, no matter what
you do or say. The child would seem to have
given up any effort to respond to you, irrespective
of whether you praise him/her or show disagreement.
The child would typically not respond when you
call him/her or when you speak to him/her. S/he
will simply seem ignorant of any activity. The
silence factor is also accompanied often by
indifference of the child to other affairs.
Silence and indifference is often said to occur
when the child wants to hide something from
the parent either in the short or in the long
term.
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The child may still
keep enjoying most of the parts of life that s/he
used to enjoy before starting to show such symptoms.
In the bad cases, the passive behavior may gradually
morph into depression. Depression
can be a serious dumping factor for your child. A
depressed child will almost never enjoy any part of
life. Your best and most expensive efforts to cheer
up the child will normally go to vain. The child will
feel a deep dark sinking feeling inside, and the feeling
will remain. The child may or may not be able to express
it, so be on the alert if your child is showing chronic
silence syndrome. In fact, it is suggested that you
pay a visit to the child-psychologist in such a case,
since a depression in childhood is much more than
a mere state of mind. It affects the subconscious
of the child with a tremendous negative impact.
Among the other kinds
of behavior, there would be manifestations of the
child-like trends of mischievous behavior that go
too far. Being overtly talkative is one of them, if
they do it on purpose to grab attention. Demonstrating
obnoxious behavior is a problem that children commonly
show, and in particularly in front of an audience.
Sticking the tongue out, not letting others talk by
shouting and disturbing others by simply physically
falling on top of them are some of the more common
forms.
The question that would
bother you is that why would the child want to behave
badly, and how to stop the child from continuing such
behavior? The philosophy to the answer of the first
one is easy. The child would behave badly only if
s/he sees some incentive in that. That creates the
foundation of the philosophy of the second answer
- if you provide the child with enough incentive to
behave well, then the child is going to stop behaving
badly. Remember that every human being has a good
corner inside the heart. A good life is a matter of
identifying and bringing out the good corner. And
your child is no exception to this.
The child's incentive
to behave badly is usually rooted into one of a few
well-known bases. They are power, control and fear.
The child would act aggressively if s/he wants to
enjoy more power and control. If s/he believes that
it is the aggressive behavior that would give him/her
the power and control s/he desires over you and over
the real life situations, that is when s/he would
behave aggressively. On the other hand, if the child
wants to conceal facts and truths from you and is
afraid that s/he may face unwelcome consequences if
you find out such truths (for example, bad performance
in school) then that is when they tend to show negative
and passive behavioral trends.
As a parent, you would
want to make sure that you understand what is wrong
with your child. Once you understand the nature of
the problem, you would want to assertively talk to
your child about the problem. To your surprise, you
would find your child starting to respond more normally
than before. This would indicate that you are no track.
Once you get this head-start, you can leverage the
advantage and understand the entire problem from your
child. Then, making the child understand the notions
of consequences and responsibilities of our own works,
you need to enlighten the child's mind on how to solve
the problems. In general, make sure that you play
and stay the role model in your child's mind, since
that makes it a lot easier for you to gain your child's
confidence and thus get rid of the problem as a whole.
Visitors
who read this article also read:
-
Out
of Control Children
-
Aggressive
Child Behavior and Anger
-
Depression
in children
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