I caught my boy and the neighbors boys in the closet touching each other private parts. The other boy with his pants down, then my son informed me that the otgher lil boy asked him about a french kiss at his house last week and taught my son what a french kiss was. Not sure how to handle this situation with our son and with the neighbors also. This is the f irst time this has ever been an issue with our son. Who I am friends with the mom. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated
I think incidents like this can bring up some very strong feelings for some people but this the matter should be handled very sensitively. It is normal for boys to be curious about their bodies and to explore and it is also a normal developmental stage for boys to prefer the same sex around the age of 8-12. As we know, small children copy behaviour and so it may be wise to question where have they seen this? It may be that one boy has seen it on the TV or been told about it from an older sibling, it really depends on how young they are. Parents should avoid shaming the child as it could result in inadequacy especially later in life, or they may feel unable to speak about their bodily worries, feeling judged about sexual issues growing up. You seem very sensible to question the behaviour and im sure it was shocking. You've probably already dealt with it but for future reference: gently explain the boundaries and explore their concerns without shaming them might be the way to go.
Good luck.
Feb 23, 2012
Amazing by: Rene
It amazes me that Anonymous agrees with much what Barnaby stated e.g. Barnaby said: 'For that reason I can only generalise: if the boys were really little boys all more-or-less the same age grouping then it would not constitute a grave problem.' Yet Anonymous calls it extreme. Also Anonymous feels that kids like that need not be told about STD's, despite the fact (UK figures say):figures from Genito Urinary Medicine clinics and the National Chlamydia Screening Programme show the number of under-16s in England diagnosed with sex infections increased from 2,474 in 2003 to 3,913 in 2007. Why if language has any meaning at all does call Barnaby's statement extreme???????????????????
Feb 02, 2012
BOYS by: Anonymous
I believe the above comment is a little extreme, yet it is completly depending on the age of these boys, if you look into research its quite normal for young children to experiment in these ways even with the same sex. I do agree that it must be adressed but not in such a harsh manner and certainly dont go explaining the risk of sexually transmitted diseases if the boys are young which is the idea that i get, thats conersations is for older children who have thecapacity to understand. Maybe just have a word explaing that what the boys did was not how they should play with one another and that kissing is for adults and you dont want this behaviour happening again,keep an eye on it and speak with other parents and just explain what you saw they should not pass blame or be angry its a part of growing up and boys realising they have certain feelings but just try to explain that its notappropriate and try speaking with your boy and seeing how he felt about the whole situation his response will probably be innocent and make u realise that yoy have nothing to worry about. Make sure u moniter the situation and ensure it diesnt become out of hand and make sure the other boys arnt forcing him to do anything he doesnt feel comfortable with. hope this helps !!
Jan 23, 2012
It is not ideal, but.... by: Barnaby
A pity that so little information was provided regarding this matter.
It would have been vital to know if the instigator of the boys was older than the other boys. Also, if the boy who was pant less was the youngest or the oldest boy. For that reason I can only generalise: if the boys were really little boys all more-or-less the same age grouping then it would not constitute a grave problem. But if the boys all were over 10 and the instigator older then there would be a much more serious problem. So at this stage: A) All the parents of the boys involved should be informed. (This may cause problems and accusations but there is no easy solution here). B) The parents should hold a conference and seek to deal with the matter. C) Hopefully, such a meeting will result in each parent agreeing to tell their children not to do such unseemly things again. D) Your boy needs to be told that his behaviour was wrong and cannot be tolerated and he should be lectured sternly and told also of the risks of sexually transmittable diseases, as well he should have restrictions placed on his goings and comings. E) If the child is genuinely sorry and remorseful then don't give any further chastisement-realising that boys sometimes break rules and will not continue on that path again.
