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in Children
It
has been observed that many children run into unexpected
behavior problems and their parents do not have any
other way out but to face such behavior issues of
their children. If you are facing such an issue, then
you shall be easily able to appreciate what is to
be addressed here.
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Behavior problems
can manifest in different shapes and forms in
children, and many of them are commonly observed
in many children.
1) The silent
treatment behavior:
Some children
use being and remaining silent to freak you
out. They attempt to win power and control over
you by remaining silent and pretending to ignore
you. They would remain silent while you speak
and ask questions. They refuse to answer.
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In fact, the reality
is that they do it most often when deep inside them
they know or believe they have done something wrong
and treat being silent as a way to gain over the wrongdoing.
It is their way of blackmailing you. You need to take
certain measures to get the situation right. You should
never take it personally. Rather, give you child a
clear message that remaining silent is a way to aggravate
the problems and not solve them. Ensure that they
understand that talking to you is a better option
since it may make it easier for him/her in the longer
run. Once you say this, do not repeat. Rather, give
him/her a further motivation to reach out to you.
For example, you may ensure that s/he does not get
to play video games till the problem is solved. In
general, make the child's participation in the healthy
life of your family a well-followed practice.
2) Compulsive Screaming:
Kids scream. And defiant
kids often scream more. The catch here is that you
should never try to match your kid in screaming. No,
you just should not go down to your kid's level -
it gives them too much power and makes you powerless.
If your kid is in the habit of screaming, his/her
desire if to gain power over you. By screaming back,
you would hand them back the power and control. Once
your child succeeds in getting things done in his/her
way, s/he senses the power that s/he earned over you
by screaming. And that would motivate him/her to make
screaming a regular habit. You should approach the
situation assertively rather than screaming back Talk
to your child face-to-face and assertively explain
that yelling is not a good option. Explain that your
kid should be in front of you, face-to-face (and not
eye-to-eye) while talking and discussing. Be positive
while talking. Your child would sense what is going
on inside you in all probability if you feel negative
but pretend to be positive about it, and that is bad
for you as well as for the yelling. Never get into
argument with your child. Rather, if he/she still
seems too insistent on yelling then talk in detail
about it.
3) Obnoxious behavior
in front of audience:
Some kids have a habit
to become obnoxious at their convenience, and even
chronically. The hidden reason behind such behavior
is often to feel more powerful. This is even more
so if the other person who is belittled by such behavior
is an adult, since that gives them a better sense
of power compared to behaving obnoxiously with other
kids. It often morphs in form of rude jokes, distasteful
and even derogatory comments and inappropriate physical
gestures such as sticking the tongue out. If the child
behaves in this manner in front of an audience then
you need to take an immediate step. You would want
to call the child aside and make it clear in an assertive
tone that you do not like such behavior. If s/he still
continues with such behavior, then reprimand in front
of the audience. This is the last chance for your
kid. If it still goes on, then call it a day and stop
the event going on. Send your kid to his/her room
and tell that you are going to follow. Usually the
kid will respond to you positively and stop doing
it. Make it an unconditional decision under such circumstances
to talk to your kid about the entire chain of events
later. If such behavior continues, simply give the
child a consequence - let know that your child will
not be allowed to be with guests until s/he maintains
the desired respect while behaving with you for the
next week or next ten days.
4) The oppositional,
defiant child syndrome:
Children act stuck-up
at times. They simply refuse to listen to you and
behave in an obstinate manner. If your child is showing
such behavior, make it a point of not to get into
any fight with your child. Rather, give your child
some choices. Make them understand that they have
multiple options including the on that they prefer
and the one that you prefer. Lay the good and bad
of each option, and explain the consequences. More
often than not, your child would start acting sensible
and take more positive decisions that before.
5) Anger and violence:
Some children take
up the angry kid role to acquire power and control
over you. Some of them even show violence. One has
to show absolute intolerance to such behavior. Set
limits for your kids, and do not accept anything that
goes beyond limits. Explain the children the notion
of taking responsibility and accepting consequences.
Set incentives such as rewards for the kid to behave
well. If the anger and violence symptoms are intense,
then control your child's exposure to media such as
the television and the Internet. Often such media
exposes them to means of anger
and violence, and kids tend to accept such behavior
readily.
Clearly, behavior issues
can be arrested and corrected if these issues are
understood and approached in the right way. As a parent,
it is completely your responsibility to keep your
child's life on the right tracks. Behavior issues
are serious deviations from the desired tracks of
life. Hence, if your kid is undergoing behavior issues,
ensure that you face them with the priority that the
problem merits.
Visitors
who read this article also read:
-
Out
of Control Children
-
Aggressive
Child Behavior and Anger
-
Depression
in children
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