It
has been observed that many children run into unexpected
behavior problems and their parents do not have
any other way out but to face such behavior issues
of their children. If you are facing such an issue,
then you shall be easily able to appreciate what
is to be addressed here.
Behavior problems
can manifest in different shapes and forms in children,
and many of them are commonly observed in many children.
1) The silent
treatment behavior:
Some children use
being and remaining silent to freak you out. They
attempt to win power and control over you by remaining
silent and pretending to ignore you. They would
remain silent while you speak and ask questions.
They refuse to answer.
In fact, the reality
is that they do it most often when deep inside them
they know or believe they have done something wrong
and treat being silent as a way to gain over the
wrongdoing. It is their way of blackmailing you.
You need to take certain measures to get the situation
right. You should never take it personally. Rather,
give you child a clear message that remaining silent
is a way to aggravate the problems and not solve
them. Ensure that they understand that talking to
you is a better option since it may make it easier
for him/her in the longer run. Once you say this,
do not repeat. Rather, give him/her a further motivation
to reach out to you. For example, you may ensure
that s/he does not get to play video games till
the problem is solved. In general, make the child's
participation in the healthy life of your family
a well-followed practice.
2) Compulsive
Screaming:
Kids scream. And
defiant kids often scream more. The catch here is
that you should never try to match your kid in screaming.
No, you just should not go down to your kid's level
- it gives them too much power and makes you powerless.
If your kid is in the habit of screaming, his/her
desire if to gain power over you. By screaming back,
you would hand them back the power and control.
Once your child succeeds in getting things done
in his/her way, s/he senses the power that s/he
earned over you by screaming. And that would motivate
him/her to make screaming a regular habit. You should
approach the situation assertively rather than screaming
back Talk to your child face-to-face and assertively
explain that yelling is not a good option. Explain
that your kid should be in front of you, face-to-face
(and not eye-to-eye) while talking and discussing.
Be positive while talking. Your child would sense
what is going on inside you in all probability if
you feel negative but pretend to be positive about
it, and that is bad for you as well as for the yelling.
Never get into argument with your child. Rather,
if he/she still seems too insistent on yelling then
talk in detail about it.
3) Obnoxious
behavior in front of audience:
Some kids have a
habit to become obnoxious at their convenience,
and even chronically. The hidden reason behind such
behavior is often to feel more powerful. This is
even more so if the other person who is belittled
by such behavior is an adult, since that gives them
a better sense of power compared to behaving obnoxiously
with other kids. It often morphs in form of rude
jokes, distasteful and even derogatory comments
and inappropriate physical gestures such as sticking
the tongue out. If the child behaves in this manner
in front of an audience then you need to take an
immediate step. You would want to call the child
aside and make it clear in an assertive tone that
you do not like such behavior. If s/he still continues
with such behavior, then reprimand in front of the
audience. This is the last chance for your kid.
If it still goes on, then call it a day and stop
the event going on. Send your kid to his/her room
and tell that you are going to follow. Usually the
kid will respond to you positively and stop doing
it. Make it an unconditional decision under such
circumstances to talk to your kid about the entire
chain of events later. If such behavior continues,
simply give the child a consequence - let know that
your child will not be allowed to be with guests
until s/he maintains the desired respect while behaving
with you for the next week or next ten days.
4) The oppositional,
defiant child syndrome:
Children act stuck-up
at times. They simply refuse to listen to you and
behave in an obstinate manner. If your child is
showing such behavior, make it a point of not to
get into any fight with your child. Rather, give
your child some choices. Make them understand that
they have multiple options including the on that
they prefer and the one that you prefer. Lay the
good and bad of each option, and explain the consequences.
More often than not, your child would start acting
sensible and take more positive decisions that before.
5) Anger and
violence:
Some children take
up the angry kid role to acquire power and control
over you. Some of them even show violence. One has
to show absolute intolerance to such behavior. Set
limits for your kids, and do not accept anything
that goes beyond limits. Explain the children the
notion of taking responsibility and accepting consequences.
Set incentives such as rewards for the kid to behave
well. If the anger and violence symptoms are intense,
then control your child's exposure to media such
as the television and the Internet. Often such media
exposes them to means of anger
and violence, and kids tend to accept such behavior
readily.
Clearly, behavior
issues can be arrested and corrected if these issues
are understood and approached in the right way.
As a parent, it is completely your responsibility
to keep your child's life on the right tracks. Behavior
issues are serious deviations from the desired tracks
of life. Hence, if your kid is undergoing behavior
issues, ensure that you face them with the priority
that the problem merits.
Visitors
who read this article also read:
-
Out
of Control Children
-
Aggressive
Child Behavior and Anger
-
Depression
in children
Additional
resources :
- Online
nursing programs can supply you with remedies
to common behavior problems.
Back
to Top
^
