As a mother should I be looking through my 12 years phone???
by Sarah
(England)
I agreed to let my 12 year old boy have a phone for christmas last year. I had agreed with him that there would be rules and that one of these rules would be that he could have a pin on his phone but that I should know it - (no secrecy) and that I would from time to time go through his phone to check that there would be nothing untoward on there. A few weeks ago my son got himself into a situation that had I not of been checking his phone, this would have spiralled out of control. I have also found on there extremely hard core porn sites that he has tried to access, when I confronted him about this he said that he would not of told me, but he was glad I found out as he got really scared by them and he was glad I had gone through his phone at this point. Now he has been telling his dad (we were married and have been separated for 5 years) that he is getting no privacy on his phone and that I go through it. His dad has spoken to me and has asked that I do not go through his phone as he is nearly a teenager and he has a right to privacy. I agree with this to a certain extent, but I am also extremely aware that some parents don't have a clue about what there children are doing because of phones and facebook accounts etc!! (especially given recent events across the UK) His dad has said that I will push him a way and have problems when he gets older if I don't let the "apron strings" down a little. Our 12 year old is a good boy but he is a child at the end of the day. I do have a good relationship with my son - but also feel I do nag at him alot, to try and teach him right from wrong and to explain things about the world today. I have since found out that his dad and girlfriend have changed the pin on his phone so that I cannot get into his phone once it has been turned off.., teaching him to lie and be deceitful towards his mum..HELP WHAT DO I DO. I'm not sure if this site is a uk based site or american, I am from the UK, but I would appreciate answers from anyone. Thanks
