I have a 12 year old son with whom i have had consistent worrying issues concerning lying. There has been a number of occasions where he has followed through with his lies right up to the meeting with the relevent party! I am now to the point that i am unable to judge correctly as to whether or not the truth is being spoken.
Much what Hamus said was really good but what he said 'If lying persists what to do', Im not so sure about. My son Jeff, 14 also lies at times and I tried what Hamus suggested: 'a few smacks on his sensitive anus.' Jeff always takes punishment well, but this time he howled when I used a wooden spoon to spank his tender anus. He also jumped around and I could not finish the chastisement. Just a normal gentle but firm spanking is the best I reccomend.
Oct 29, 2011
Have a strategy by: Hamus
Annemarie,
This is a difficult one. Your son appears to be a shameless liar. You and his Dad (if indeed he has one) must clearly formulate and outline a strategy 'how to deal with this'. There is the saying 'all men are liars', meaning that not one (ordinary) person alive or dead would be or has been completely free from telling untruth. Another saying is 'all children are liars'. So it is a generic failing in the human race. None-the less, within that, most will walk with truth & integrity. Sad to say, some children and adults are pathological liars-they lie all the time and are not ashamed when caught out, but ashamed that they did not cover up their lying cleverly enough. Once the family has a strategy/action plan, in place-the person concerned will have to be monitored closely and advised concerning the plan. Details of which would include as per family decision a detailed discipline plan which could, but may not include :(e.g. Supervised outings/showering/shopping/chastisement such as spankings in undies/corner time etc).In this particular case I don't recommend bare bum or naked spanking,since the focus has to be on an achievable remedy and cure.With his spanking in tight undies, so adjusted that his bum cheeks are exposed, a gentle hand spanking will achieve most. All designed with one purpose-that he will see there are serious consequences? to this lying and therefore, that he may be shaken out of it. If lying persists in adition to a few warning smacks on the sensitive anus area of the lad,( only to be done by Dad) will get a message accross very clearly, that you are serious, and tolerate no nonsense You can only hope that eventually he will become sick of his lying and the mistrust it creates-specifically within the family. By explaining to him, that you mistrust him and withdraw any responsibilities involving trust from him until he becomes truthful, you may regain him. Work through your plan and discipline him according to your plan as well, so that he can see there are unpleasant consequences which follow his behaviour. All the best. H.
