I have a son who will be 12 in August. I have had many many issues with him at home and at school. He was brought home by the police in 2nd grade for assaulting his teacher and telling her he was going to kill her. All along we have had behavior issues....we've been down the therapy, multiple:and I mean MULTIPLE evaluations, and medications, all of which seemed to exaggerate the behavior issues, as he seemed to view all of this as these "strangers" seemed to think something was wrong with him. It was like they had given him a license to do whatever he wanted to whoever he wanted. We have been years now without any of the therapy, or meds. He has been home schooled for the last 3 years of school....and the very thought of him going back makes me worry if the "behaviors" are going to return. We have somewhere along the line seemed to have outgrown? the violent behaviors. However there are other things that he does that just drive me absolutely crazy. Is it normal for a 12 year old to constantly ask questions? And I don't mean genuine inquisitive questions, I mean asking a question just for the sake of asking a question or hearing yourself ask one? It seems almost as if there is no one talking something in his head tells him to start asking questions. By now, he has figured out that I will not answer any question that isn't a genuine one, or one he already knows the answer to(these are usually the ones that end up with him smirking? after they are asked). My biggest problem with this is that since I have decided that I will not tolerate him doing this to me, he has decided to do this to other adult guests. And I don't mean a general question like how they are, and they generally don't even get the door closed and it starts......and it doesn't stop. I mean he can fire questions so fast at you that you can't even think about the first one and there is another right behind it. I have one guest in particular that is just way too nice to say anything and I have sat and listened to them answer a solid 20 minute barrage of questions, at which point I did tell him to stop it. It's usually not even logical questions......."how would you drive around with an elephant on your lap?" I could see a 2 year old asking that, not a 12 year old. And if the guest merely pretends he hasn't heard, then we switch to "Hey Joe" over and over until they can't stand it. I have no idea how to stop this...aside from plain out telling him to stop it(which doesn't last long and he's right back at it). I have listened to this so much that sometimes I don't even realize he is doing it someone, until they change their tone of voice with him or just decide that it's time to go home.
Another issue I have is him interrupting people to put in his "2 cents". If someone is having a conversation with me about something in their personal life, he will speak over them and then most of them stop talking, he put in his 2 cents and then we go right to him questioning them about whatever they were talking about. What compels them to answer is beyond me. I have actually sat and had lengthy talks about this, and have resorted to reminding him of the rules while my guests are parking. He always says yes he remembers, but the minute they clear the door you wouldn't think I had said a word. I would expect all of these things out of a 3 or 4 year old, not a 12 year old, that has never been allowed to simply continue such behavior(something is always said usually by me). He is an only child and has few if any friends, mostly because other children will only play with him so long, because anything that irritates or annoys other children seems to absolutely thrill him. I have even had other children come up to me and ask "Can you tell him to stop asking me questions". He runs around trying to kiss other children(usually boys)and this is fueled by the fact that they don't want him to and are running from him to keep him off of them. It's like a huge game to him. I realize that somewhere in here is some sort of delayed? maturity. If I didn't know better and I could only hear him talk(not only the way he speaks but what comes out of his mouth) I would put my last dollar on him being only maybe 5. Does anyone have any ideas on how to handle this and actually get through to him what is appropriate and what is not appropriate? It's almost like he never mentally grew up past age 5. I always think of a "typical" 12 year old, and wonder where mine is. I feel like I've had a 5 year old for 7 years. If it helps, his dad is nowhere to be found so it's me 24/7 dealing with this and more than I could ever write here.. I never thought I would be the mom that couldn't stand her own kid, but that's where I'm at. Not just from the things written here, it's a far longer story than that and has gone on for so long, and to add the insult, I've had so many people telling me that it's me or something I am or am not doing. I feel like I've been to all the right places and none of them has given me the answer....oh I've heard it all from this disorder to that disorder, and from strattera to risperdal to lithium and a few in between on the medication end. I just don't see how a drug is going to make you mentally "grow up". I have never in my life seen a child that gets such enjoyment and thrill out of irritating everyone around him, and you can tell by his face that he is enjoying every minute of it. Any help, info or opinions would be greatly appreciated....the tiniest thing might work wonders:) Sorry for the lengthiness.....
