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Social phobia
is often inaccurately called shyness. But there are major
differences between social phobia and shyness in children.
Parents and teachers must distinguish these differences.
Shyness is
a behaviour that is not pervasive and persistent, only
manifesting itself in particular situations. For example,
a shy child will be somewhat uncomfortable in situations,
such as going to a playground where he does not know anyone,
but this is all there is to it. In the end, the child
gives himself a push. He goes to the playground, and after
a while, he starts talking and playing with other children.
On the other
hand, a social phobic child avoids most social situations,
with a display of excessive shyness. Social phobia is
pervasive and persistent. In social phobia, the child
is overwhelmed by anxiety that he would have a physical
reaction to avoid unfamiliar people or possible negative
perception by others as much as possible.
Social phobia
is characterised by distress that significantly disrupts
the child's social relationships, school life, and everyday
routines.
Primary
Signs and Symptoms
The following
are the common signs and symptoms parents and teachers
might want to observe in a child:
- Being silent
most of the time and speaking very softly.
- Having few
or no friends;
- Sweating
profusely when in a large group;
- Making excuses
to avoid going to school;
- Unwilling
to participate in group activities in class;
- Clinging,
throwing tantrums, and crying;
- Avoiding
eye contact;
Moreover, the
following are some somatic complaints that are common
in social phobia in childhood:
1) Headache;
2) Chest pain;
3) Nausea;
4) Sweating;
5) Chills/Flushes;
6) Shakiness;
7) Heart palpitations;
8) Smothering
sensations
9) Lump in
throat;
10) Speech
blocking;
11) Dizziness;
12) Ringing
in ears;
13) Diarrhoea;
and
14) Shortness
of breath
The Role
of Parents
Social phobia
could continue into adulthood if this condition is left
untreated early in a child's life. It is very important
that we distinguish it early, and treat it right away
to avoid more problems in the future, such as alcoholism,
drug abuse, psychological problems, and suicide.
The good news:
Social phobia can be treated and most social phobic children
respond to treatment well. The sooner you discover this
condition, the easier it will be to deal with. What can
parents do?
- Read stories
that tackle shyness, self-esteem, and bullying;
- Boost his
self-confidence through physical and verbal expression
of affection and compliments;
- Let him know
how you deal with anxiety in social scenarios, so your
child feels supported and knows it is okay to discuss
feelings of anxiety;
- Give him
confidence to face situations that he is afraid of, step
by step;
- Teach him
proper breathing techniques to lessen the intensity of
anxiety;
- Encourage
him to exercise regularly and to relax his muscles;
- Make sure
that your child is well rested and has proper diet;
- Go to a child
psychiatrist/psychologist or your paediatrician in case
things worsen; and
- Update and
engage your child's teacher regarding your treatment plans.
The Role
of Teachers
Parents need
a trusted third party to help the child see there is nothing
to be afraid about social interaction. Definitely, teachers
can assume this role.
- Kindly support
the child to face "scary" social scenarios. These feared
social situations must be confronted and dealt with if
the child is to triumph over his social phobia;
- Do not humiliate
or embarrass the child. You should come up with and maintain
a reassuring and encouraging classroom environment;
- Read stories
promoting the meaning of self-confidence.
- Organise
teams or pair children off for class activities so that
the child will always have partners;
- Encourage
the children in the class to accept ethnic and cultural
differences to minimise bullying, which lowers a child's
self-confidence;
- Motivate
and recognise the child for any undertaking where he participates
in activities in class;
- Assign an
outgoing classmate to be the child's partner in class,
as this will encourage friendship;
- Make the
child your special helper in your classroom because this
will enhance his confidence;
According to
many experts, social phobia in childhood is driven by
the child's own thoughts and results from a fear of rejection
and disapproval. The child having this condition always
feels that other children make fun of him and think negatively
of him.
What parents
and teachers must do is help the child turn away from
such self-imposed negative state of mind, and in time,
endeavour to have a high level of self-confidence.
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