Emotional
Development and the Self Esteem in Children by:
Debbie Cluff
Emotional
Development
Synopsis
By the time a child
is three years old, he or she is an emotionally complex
person who has experienced a wide range of emotions.
As parents, teachers, and caregivers we need to help
promote our children's emotional development so that
they will be able to develop healthy relationships
with their peers and learn how to manage their emotions
effectively.
Many
theorists have suggested the emotional development
of a child, or the core of one's self esteem needs
to be understood and fostered at home and in the classroom.
Teachers and parents
should focus on children'semotional development or the feelings that
generally have both physiological and cognitive elements
which influence behavior (Feldman, 2000, p. 329),
at a young age.
These feelings need
to be positively reinforced to develop a high self-esteem
through out the child's life.
Most theorists agree
that there is a link between a child's development
and their respective emotional levels. The views of
the theorists also clarify the most influential stages
in a child's life when emotional development is necessary
and how this development reinforces a child's self
esteem. A child's emotional development needs to be
built at home and school in order to develop a high
self-image.
By the time a child
is three years old, he or she is an emotionally complex
person who has experienced a wide range of emotions.
As parents, teachers, and caregivers we need to help
promote our children's emotional development so that
they will be able to develop healthy relationships
with their peers and learn how to manage their emotions
effectively. This will help them get the most benefit
out of their learning and eventually adulthood development.
A child's emotional development begins with the relationship
with their caregiver.
The type
of responses that a child receives from their first
caregivers (i.e. parents, daycare providers) will
determine how that child will learn to deal with their
emotions later on in their live (Ashiabi, 2000).
A child
who has a secure relationship with their caregiver
will initiate positive interactions and respond positively
to initiations with others (Ashiabi, 2000). Conversely,
a child who has an insecure relationship with his
or her caregiver will show more negative emotions
while interacting with others (Ashiabi, 2000).
Elizabeth Cady Stanton
once said, Self-development is a higher duty than
self-sacrifice (Quote, 2004). Having a good self worth
or attitude about oneself can define self-esteem.
Children with a healthy self-esteem feel, that the
important adults in their lives accept them, care
about them, and would go out of their way to ensure
that they are safe and well (KidSource, 2004)
In younger children,
self-esteem is not measured by their self worth, but
by how well the loved ones in their lives respect
and respond to their particular needs. For example,
children with a lack of role models or a lack of parental
support tend to have a lower self-esteem because they
feel that these adults do not accept or care about
them.
This is the main factor
which children base their level of self-esteem on
through out their childhood and then on into adulthood.
An example of this can be seen in early childhood
development of infants who respond and attach themselves
to the adults who love and are responsible for them.
In the magazine American
Baby it states, What's usually the fastest way to
soothe a crying baby? Snuggle together while gently
stroking him. Your touch has an amazing power to communicate
love (Wu, 2004). What this is pointing out is that
the infant is responding to the trusted adult's touch
basing its emotional development on this form of communication
and overall establishing the child's future trust
and self-esteem.
One big question about
self-esteem is, The more you praise your child, and
the more self esteem your child will have. This is
correct, isn't it? (Cyperparent, 2004). The answer
to this question is not as simple it seems. It has
been said that if you continuously praise a child,
it may make the child question the sincerity of that
adult, causing them to soon dismiss these praises
as fake and eventually hindering their self esteem.
Even young children can see through excessive praise
and flattery (KidSource, 2004).
This is very important
in today's classroom. Research suggests that we should
praise, but also challenge and encourage the student
to take risks. Praising your children and your students
should be only one aspect of raising self-esteem.
The main aspect of this development should focus on
how, Helping children develop self-esteem involves
listening, accepting, and praising. Self-esteem comes
from acceptance. Provide positive self-esteem. Help
your children grow self-esteem (KidSource, 2004).
A child's self-esteem
is not something imprinted in their DNA when born,
self esteem is established and planted by parents
and teachers through a lot of time, dedication, and
positive reinforcement. Remember that a child, also,
does not and really cannot develop self-esteem over
night. Self-Esteem is something that is trail and
error for each child and with the positive help and
influence of parents or teachers, a proper and high
self esteem can be established, building upon each
event through out their life, representing their emotional
development.
It has
been established for a long time that emotion does
play a role in learning (Gewertz, 2003). Recent research
has also shown that a deliberate approach to teaching
social and emotional skills in the classroom increases
test scores and grades, increases students' enthusiasm
and motivation to learn and reduces behavior problems.
Children who are distracted by emotional issues do
not learn effectively (Gewertz, 2003). By focusing
on developing emotional and social
skills, teachers and parents can help students
to maximize their learning potential.
There
are many ways a teacher can establish a child's emotional
development. As we have stated previously, children
build their self-esteem and emotional development
based of the adults who they are close to and whom
they spend a lot of time with. Teachers need to encourage
children by building upon their self-esteem in their
lesson plans so that their students will feel comfortable
and confident with themselves. A teacher can make
their students feel more confident by giving each
child a specific responsibility. This is not only
exciting for the child, but it also provides an opportunity
for the student to gain some ownership of the classroom.
A teacher
can also show the students to how to learn from past
failed attempts (Research and Children, 2004). In
order to make this work, a teacher needs to let go
of their instinct to overprotect the students and
allow them to be creative and encourage any questioning.
Building or growing a child's emotional development
is different than teaching it. Teachers also have
to keep in mind that they might be the sole provider
for this form of development if the child is not receiving
it at home. Thoroughly planning lessons around positive
thinking will help to reinforce this theory.
There
are many lesson plans teachers have access to via
the internet. Most of these can easily be adapted
to fit a teacher's specific situation. The K-5 lessons
range from a Who am I Collage by Linda Bauck, which
teaching the child who they are, to a self esteem/class
pride chain, by Kimberlee Woodward, which teaches
them teamwork and self worth. The collage allows the
students to create and present a piece of work about
them. This allows the students not only to talk about
their interests and characteristics, but also to work
on presentation skills with peers. The chain lesson
plan allows the student to list five talents on separate
strips of construction paper. Then with the teachers
help they will be linked to form a chain. The students
each present their talents to the class, then link
the entire chain together. This serves as a reference
point and a reminder throughout the year. A student
can always look up and see that he does possess talents,
and so do his peers.
Lesson
plans building child
development can be found on the internet at
sites such as www.eduref.org/, which these lesson
plans were located at. Another route the teacher can
look into is character education which is a theory
based on teaching children character. Really the focus
of the teacher should be to learn about emotional
development then implement it into the classroom.
There
are outlining stages for emotional development and
children. Parents and by teachers need to understand
these stages so that they can aid in building their
children's emotional development and positively mold
children's self esteem. Emotional Development is important
to understand because it can really help the child
all the way into adulthood. Amos Alcott once said,
The true teacher defends his pupils against his own
personal influence (Quote, 2004). Teachers and parents
are responsible for the emotional development of the
children and the influence they share with these children
can affect the children's lives forever.
About The Author:
Debbie Cluff is the founder and owner of Links for
Learning, www.links-for-learning.com. Links for Learning
is the online tutoring and instant homework help site
for students in Reading, Writing, and Math. Debbie
is the mother of 2, with one on the way, and has been
married for 5 years. She has her BA in Liberal Studies,
her Master's in Education, and is currently in the
1st grade classroom.