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At age 2, Jeremy displayed
having his own sensibility. Though affectionate, the boy
seemed distant, showing more interest on objects and patterns
rather than on people. The boy is also differently curious,
exuberant and quirky. You can catch him bopping and leaping
across the floor when he gets excited over something like
winning a game or solving a problem. His behavior is oftentimes
perceived to be silly especially when he is excited.
Jeremy exhibited behavior
far different from his parents. His mother is naturally
sociable while his father is a gifted reader. He did not
inherit these characteristics from them. Phil and Susan
Schwarz, Jeremy's parents, started to consider their own
life histories and behavior when their son was diagnosed
with a high functioning autism.
Learning about their son's
case, Phil Schwarz, a software developer in Framingham,
Mass, is faced with unfamiliar language as the diagnosis
came to him as entirely new. This made him look back,
reflect and understand his own life when he was growing
up. He began to remember his own sensitivities to bright
lights and loud noises and his temperaments; how he was
quiet and hesitant in school; and how his own parents
and grandparents displayed special intellectual skills.
He paused to review his own life.
It struck some sense to
him that his son's diagnosis provided a framework of his
own life's conspicuous aspects finally coming together
to a perfect fit.
Developmental problems and
different psychiatric disorders are known to run in families.
These are study-backed findings attributing genetic components
in family histories. Children whose parents have bipolar
disorders, (extreme mood swings from euphoria to depression)
are almost eight times more prone to risk in developing
mood problems than the usual. Parents with depression
run their children the risk of having mood disorders three
times than the customary. Developmental disorders such
as autism and attention disorders can run in the genes.
The cases of developmental
and psychiatric disorders have grown to a staggering figure
of more than six million since 1990. Many parents are
more than ever cognizant of their own behavior patterns
associating them to the disorders of their own offspring.
Parents often relate to their own behavior with reference
to their child's disorder in a minor way most commonly.
However, some regard them as major factors. Parents and
other family members' pattern of idiosyncrasies, which
they prefer not to talk about at some point, are unavoidably
mapped out in recognition of the child's diagnosis.
Child psychiatrist, Dr.
Gregory Fritz, says that this is a frequent observation
with almost all forms of disorders from attention deficiency
to mood disorders such as bipolar disorders. He also added
that the children are the ones who get a thorough evaluation
while parents start to recognize patterns tracing them
to family histories. Dr. Gregory Fritz is the Academic
Director of the biggest child-psychiatry hospital in the
country, Bradley Hospital in Providence R.I.
On the other hand, psychiatrists
say that it is risky to diagnose an adult, i.e. the parents,
through their child since they may tend to associate their
own behavior and thinking with their child's behavior
in an exaggerated manner. This exaggeration tends families
to adopt a vague or uncertain label in attempt to attribute
difficulties to it where the real source or reason could
be lying elsewhere.
Psychological experts say
that disorders traced in family histories are more than
often real but what's important is how to handle the condition
once they came out. For instance, a parent would not want
to be labeled responsible as the "one" passing on the
behavior problem to the child. As to what Dania Jekel,
Executive Director of Asperger's Association of New England
expressed, an adult may still be struggling with the condition
and compensating for the difficulty, therefore, he or
she would prefer not to be identified in that manner.
To parents who chose otherwise
to accept and acknowledge their own contribution to the
diagnosis of their child, their openness about it has
gained them benefits. Their willingness to go through
self-examination allows them to learn about their own
proper diagnosis as an adult. In addition, being able
to accept it and deal with it openly will ease family
relations, making family members work constructively to
address the disability.
Norine Eaton is a 51-year
old mother from Williamsville N.Y who has two hyperactive
sons diagnosed with attention deficit disorders. After
learning of his boys' condition, she went to seek treatment
at the Center for Children and Families at the State University
in Buffalo. Here she began to consider her own past and
current behavior - how she finds it hard to focus on menial
tasks like keeping schedules and paying the bills on time.
In an attempt to understand the whole situation, she had
her sons' attending psychologists evaluate her regarding
her attention.
Some scientists see that
the symptoms of attention deficit disorder can last through
the adult years but are always evident in childhood. For
proper diagnosis, doctors must see proofs that symptoms
were indeed present in childhood if they are evaluating
an adult. Finding evidence of a problem in childhood days
is not easy to do.
In this case, Ms. Eaton
had to look for evidences in her younger years that will
lay down some proofs that she carried the symptoms. She
dug up records and reports in her elementary years. She
found records that said she has difficulty paying attention"
and that she was disorganized. She is now under stimulant
medication, which helps her get the right focus. Through
the help of her medication, she now addresses her attention
problem by making notes to herself, putting down dates
and schedules, and answering messages and invitation on
time.
Being open builds and rebuilds
relationships, especially in the acknowledgement of difficulties
and disorders. Like John Halpern, a 76-year old retired
physicist, he decided to call his daughter after 10 years
of no contact after hearing about Asperger's syndrome
on the radio since he immediately recognized himself with
the condition.
He apologized to his daughter
for his inadequacies and soon started to explain about
the condition. His daughter already knew his father's
case of having Asperger's syndrome since she had looked
through it in hopes to find answers to his father's behavior
before he could even finish explaining. The father's openness
and the daughter's understanding started their relationship
anew. They now maintain to keep in touch at least once
a week.
Psychiatric experts say
that children afflicted with developmental or psychiatric
disorders show that they may be better alone without company,
but they also want to feel that they are not the only
ones burdening the family. A parent can ease this guilt
of the child by talking about it. One helpful illustration
is from Susan Shanfield, a 54 year-old social worker from
Massachusetts. When she got reports about his son's quiet
and indifferent behavior in school, they said that they
are all like that in their family.
Her son was diagnosed with
a neuro-lingual disorder, a learning deficit and she immediately
recognized some same traits with her own. She admitted
that learning about herself through the diagnosis of her
son was therapeutic for her. She even told her 80-year-old
father about her personal discovery. At least now it became
clear to them both in their own respective accounts of
growing up in their own sets of mistakes and frustrations.
His father since then openly talked about a part of his
own life that used to have a lid on it.
Phil Schwarz, father of
Jeremy with high functioning autism who is now 16 years
old, speaks encouragingly about developmental disorder.
He says that things can work out if only parents are willing
to constructively acknowledge the disorder of the child
since there must have been at least a bit of their own
traits acquired by their child.
Mr. Schwarz also says that
because of the stigma annexed to disability, there are
still parents who fail to embrace that certain part of
themselves that could have been a moving force to help
their children with disorders.
Children
with Special Needs -> Could Your Child's Disorder
be Yours?
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