Aggressive
Child Behavior and Anger
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Behavior and Anger
Aggression
and anger are quite normal during the process of growing up.
A certain amount of aggression and anger may not be all that
bad.
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Without them, a child
may be reluctant to stand up for himself. When uncontrolled,
problem arises.
Nobody is born with
uncontrollable anger problems and most anger is short
lived as a response to some frustrating or abusive situation.
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Anger
in young children
Anger in
younger children is normally expressed through tantrums
and shouting. The goal is to get attention, whether
good or bad ones. Once the attention is given, you can
expect the child to use these tactics again and again
to get what he wants. Ignoring the child is often the
best way to deal with such behavior.
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Signs
of Aggression
- Does your
child get into fights very often
- Is he/she verbally abusive?
- Does he/she resolve conflict by force?
- Does he/she shout and scream very often?
- Does he/she break toys very often than other children?
- Does he/she get into arguments for very minor things?
- Is he/she physically violent?
- Does he/she threaten peers and siblings?
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The above list is a mere evaluation
of your child's behavior. Should you sense and feel that your
child fits into the category of being aggressive, you need
to find a solution.
Finding a solution
usually involves some self evaluation on the parent's part.
Our child watches and learns from us all the time!
- Write down some
aggressive behavior that your find in yourself. Could your
child 'got it' from you? This is hard to swallow but often
is usually the root cause.
- Analyze the
television programs that he/she has been watching. Are they
too violent?
- Finds out what
books, computer games, and internet games he/she is expose
to.
What
should parents do or don't? Being a role model,
- Do not give hurtful
comments about anyone - your spouse, in-laws, friends, etc,..
- Do not curse and swear in front of your children
- Do not fight in front of your children. It's easy to pick
up a fight when emotions get heated up. Watch out for this!
- Do not use violence to settle dispute among children. Try
using discussion and mediation instead.
- If disciplining a child involves using the rod, always follow
through with an explanation on why the action was taken. Ask
the child if he/she thinks the actions/behaviors are desirable.
Note the response and reason with him/her.
So,
what can parents do now?
The earlier we
understand and control our child's aggressive behavior, the
higher the chance of getting him/her back on track. Observe
your child's behavior for a week and make notes about your
observations. Once you know the triggers, you can eliminate
as much as you can. Aggressive behaviors in children can be
changed.
Below
are some steps that parents can take.
- Express your
love physically and verbally. Let your child know that you
care and wants to listen to him/her.
- Establish rules.
Use a 'good behavior chart'. Put it where your child can see
it most often.
- When punishment
is necessary, always explain to your child the rationale behind
your action. Use withdrawal of privileges, e.g, no TV or computer
games.
- Talk to the school
teachers and let them know what you plan to do. Teachers can
align with you on your 'redemptive efforts' .
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