8 year old Boy not listening or focusing in school..I am a single mother trying to do my best but nothing seems to work
I am a single mother of an 8 year old boy. He is really a sweet little guy who often helps out and is full of love. It is his school work that is not so great. His work is always messy, he wastes time in class, he talks too much, always getting in trouble ( but nothing bad enough that I get called). His father is not that involved and I am on my own. He does not really have a good male role model so have put him in a male teachers class to try and give that to him. I recently bought him a puppy ( he has begged for a few years) to try and give him something special to love as he is having issues with feeling like his father does not love him. I told him if he did not do better at school the dog was going to go. Today I found out that every thing he has been doing at school has not been very good. His work is not getting done, and I blew up telling him the dog would have to go. Today his grandmother took the puppy until we can figure out what is right but she overheard him telling the puppy how he loved him and that he thought he would have him forever. Now I am not sure if that was the right thing to do.. any advice.. please help. Struggling to make it work...
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8 year old Boy not listening or focusing in school..I am a single mother trying to do my best but nothing seems to work
My son was the same way. I, too, am a single mom. I did two things. one-read the book "Dare to Discipline" by Dr. James Dobson. You are headed in the right direction with discipline. this book will help you keep going. the other thing is to have him evaluated for add. I know ALOT of people will disagree with that, but i also know that your son's signs are classic. my son is on a VERY SMALL dose of meds along with diet change. Changed my life for the better. He really wanted to do good and was a sweet kid, he just couldn't "get it together!" Also, consider counseling. Most insurances will pay for it. It helps your son talk out what he is feeling, and encourages you. as for the puppy, it is ok to look your son in the eye and say,"i was wrong". If he is that bonded with the pup, let him keep it. My son talks to his dog when he can't talk to me. you will make it i promise! BusyMomKaren at yahoo
Oct 24, 2009
Thanks by: Anonymous
Thank you for your response.. I have told him if things turn around the puppy will come back and in fact we are going to bring him home this weekend. I guess removing the puppy was a rash thing to do when upset but he did realize that I was not kidding. Thanks again
Oct 22, 2009
Hang in there by: Mama to two
First just let me say that your story has touched my heart immensely. I have always had a great deal of respect for single parents that do their best by their children. Your love for your son shines through in your post. You seem to enlist every resource available and are genuinely concerned and care about the repercussions of decisions made today. Not enough parents think ahead like that. Way to go and keep up the good work. I do have a few bits of advice or maybe just additional resources for you.
Maybe taking away the puppy was a little harsh, but at least you did not make an empty threat. Little ones who parents do that end up without respect. However, I think that maybe it was still the right thing. If it was, you will know. My suggestion is to enlist the help of his teacher. I know that teacher's are busy, but believe me, they very much respect and make time for a caring, involved parent. If your son can turn things around at school, is it a possibility that he can get the puppy back? That too would provide for a good time frame for showing improvement. The only reason I worry about the puppy going for good, is that he might start having irrational fears that everything he loves gets taken away or goes away, i.e. his father. It would just be really hard to see him internalize that and blame himself. Good luck
