My daughter just turned 7, and started 2nd grade. Yesterday she got a conduct mark for spitting in another student's face. Her mom and I were shocked at this behavior. We spanked her and took certain valuable things from her room.(made her put them in a box) She got home from school today, and guess what, SAME conduct mark! Same exact thing, but a different student. She hasn't had anything other than normal conduct marks in the past. (talking, running around, etc.)
Now, here's a little of her history. When she was 4, her birth mother died of cancer. She was at an age that allowed her to bounce back quickly though. She rarely ever mentions her "mommy", and when she does, it's nothing "sad". In late 2008 I remarried. She absolutely loves her step-mom (mom), and her step-mom loves her. We are expecting a baby girl in early November. I'm sure the new baby talk has something to do with this, but I don't understand why she would act out badly. She has been an only child for her entire life, and has certainly never been deprived of attention. Can anyone tell me what we should do??? How worried should we be? Is this just going to get worse?
Hi, Im single and dont have children. But I know what is is like to be spit on. when iand my brother was growing up we would fight and we even spit on each other he more than me. He even continued this after we were grown. He' in his early 30's and still spits on me at times and im in my late 20's. Guess you're shocked by this. I believe in Spanking for certain offenses that put a childs life in danger and for other repectative misbehavior after all other disipline methods have failed although My brother and wernt ever spanked very much growing up.
It seems to me that your little girl is anixious and jealous of the new baby because not only she the only child that got all the attention for years. But deep down she might also misses her birth mother and maybe feel guilty that her mother died because of her. Sure you have explained to her about her real mother death. you married again and now you're expecting a new baby now. Its possible that she sees the baby as a threat that you wont love her and that her stepmother will love her own birth child more than her. She possible that she sees you your wife and baby as a family that doesnt include her in it. Than again your daughter may not have all these feelings either about her birth moth stepmother. Im pointing this out as possiblities since your daughter has had to adjust to A Lot of major changes in her life and she could be confused and angry and not know how to deal with them so it could be that shes acting out for attention. Some children hold their hurt angry feelings inside and not tell their parents about them. another theroy is that maybe the kid your daughter spit on or another kid is bullying her or bothering her. I know what your daughter did was wrong however sit with her and try to find out why she spit on the kid and is she having problems in school with anyone or at home with the family issues. if she cannot talk about have her draw you a picture and tell about the picture Im a artist and I expressed my emotion throgh my artwork. Enroll her in a kids art class or other fun activity of her choice or hobby. it will distract her from baby so much help her develope social skills more. For in the future dont rush to spank her for every misdeeds if she does it the 1st time.instead give her a warning time out ground her depending of severity of offense. talk to her about behavior why she did the misdeed. Also Talk to her teacher at her school to determine what the problem maybe possibly with other kids. Try to send one on one time with her after baby's born. Don't Give up Reassure her that you love her no matter what. get her a kitten or older cat or pet if you can or maybe wait later on after baby is older.
May 11, 2010
Same thing here by: 6 year old spit on step mom
My 6 year old daughter has been doing very similar things. Ironically, her biological mother had some perscription drug problems (we were never married). I have had custody and placement since she's been 2. Last year, we finalized it in court, and her biological mother signed the Termination of Parental Rights, which relieves her of any obligation of motherly or financial rights to my daughter. I've since, now been married for 2 years, and we have a beautiful 8 month old baby together. My 6 year old has always been overly clingly, afraid to be alone, rarely listens if at all, etc. We are familiar with Reactive Attention Disorder, which shows up in kids that are neglected by their mothers at infancy through toddler. (Which is what happened to my daughter). I was having my daughter 2-3 days a week before her mother attempted suicide with my 2 year old baby girl alone in her crib. We just want to raise the healthiest family possible, especially with our newest daughter, and this is taking over EVERYONE's life. She gets attention, in fact, I think my 6 year old may have gotten more than necessary and still does from us...in a positive way...
Yesterday, my wife and her were in the pool and she deliberately scratched her step mom on the arm, then laughed. Tonight, when I got home from work, my 6 year old spit on her, we told her never to do that, that its worse than punching someone in the face, and then did it again 5 minutes later and laughed. She then was punished and put to bed early, of course with a tantrum....She doesnt complete her homework ever, and has had her name on the board twice in the last week for excessive talking and not listening to her teacher. This was also a first for her. Any help or comments would be greatly appreciated. We dont know what to do anymore, we are planning on taking her to the pediatrician soon, and hopefully they can direct us to someone that we can speak with....child pyschologist or family counselor of some sort....
