18 year old daughter taking prescription drugs and shoplifting
by patricia
(Arizona)
When my daughter was 14 years old she started staying out late, and we think she was smoking marijuana. At that age, my husband, my daughter and I went into counseling. We also had consequences each time she disobey the home-rules. Even though she was very rebellious for two years she graduated early from high school. That was her own decision and effort. However, her grades were just barely enough to graduate. As soon as she graduated (she was almost 18) she find a job and moved out to an apartment nearby our home. We really did not want her to move, but there was not much we could do at that point. We did not help her with rent, because we felt she could stay home while going to college, since she chose to attend one at only 5 minutes from our house. We do pay for college tuition and books, though. I am pretty sure she has been drinking, and smoking pot, but I never actually seen her drunk, or smoking. She quit her job about three months ago to join my husband in his company, however, she did not like the office work (she was in retail before)and quit that job too. This Summer she decided that she would move to a larger apartment with a roomate, but could not find a suitable one, and her future roomate was not ready yet to move. We invited to move back to our home and she did few days ago. She has been very happy these last days at our house. However, during the move I found out that she has been using anxiety pills that she buys from a friend (self-medicated!) and I just learned, by chance (she has not told me) that she has been caught shoplifting and she has to appear in court next week. I asked her about the pills because I did found evidence and she told me about it. According to her is "only once in a while" but I talked to her about how dangerous this is even if it was done once. My husband and I don't smoke, we don't drink except for a glass of wine once a week socially, both have graduate degrees, both work, our friends are all clean and honest people who we know for ever. We have been trying everything with our daughter, from being firm/strict to professional help. I don't know what else to try or do. ANy suggestions?
