My son is 13, almost 14. Everything I ask him to do he replies "why do I have to do that". I tell him to clean his room, has asks "why do I have to do that?" I ask him to help out. He only helps if its something he enjoys or is going to benefit from. This phase is really taking a toll on all of us. I threaten to take something away and he says "Oh my god!" like its the end of the world. Please .,.. any advice would be helpful. We are at wits end.
Nancy and other mums. As a single mum I have offers from male relatives who are prepared to spank my kids for doing wrong things like Nancys 13 year old. The boys are now 11 and 14. But frankly I didn't trust them with my boys, who are now both into the puberty thing. So I make it simple, they have a shower and I give them a few licks on the bum with a ruler, not to hard but still ouch! The idea not to hurt my kids to much but to shame them-. They don't like mum around when showering and vulnerable and to make them think. It helps to keep them in order and I don't have to worry about relatives damaging my lovely boys. When I read in the forum how other mums cope, then I think I do the best thing. Thanks Jane.
Oct 14, 2011
Quit him now by: Jon
Mabel, it is mad that your 13 year old kid is spanked unclad in front of you, his mum. Then to make it worse, spanked by a young neighbour. He is by now a well developped young male. This is not shaming him but devaluating him. See what you have done, while deprived of his modesty, sporting a sore red bum ,privates on display,shamed in front of mum, he hugs his tormentor Think of his self esteem. Get rid of that horrible neighbour and tell him to crawl back into the hole he came from. Now beg your son for forgivenes and deal with him sensibly. When he does wrong/take away certain privileges/outings/games/money-but no more nonsense.
Oct 06, 2011
The right way by: Mabel
I think letting teens get away without doing things at home is silly. It does not help him. Grant shows the way by firmly with care to spank his 5 boys when they goes wrong. My own son Billy nealy 13 is now a good kid, he gets spanked all clothes of by a youngish male neighbor. He is so much better now then before. Yes he is shamed when he gets in bare butt in front of me, since he now is developing so he makes sure that he stays ok.Its good when he gets hugged after his spanking and he calls the neighbor now mate!
Oct 05, 2011
Correction now by: Grant
Your boy is saying no to everything you ask him to do, because at 13 he clearly is in the mad world of a hormone driven hurricane . Puberty changes compliant lads to raging bulls. Now is the best time of his young life for you to steer this hormonal interaction into a positive direction. More than ever will he need correction, which now will have double the effect then if it is done later. Sadly this correction means pain and humiliation for the boy. I have guided 5 boys through this period, 2 bio sons a stepson who I acquired when he was aged 13. As well my widowed sister?s sons -after much persuasion she broke through my reluctance to manage the discipline of her boys- who were then aged of 14 and 16-talking about grey hairs. All these boys had one thing in common at their age a reluctance to comply with household requirements and be as naughty as they possibly could be. So now for the painful part., preferably the boy?s dad but it?s OK for the mum tells the lad that a spanking will take place even if he once more disagrees. At the next indiscretion get him to undress, keep his undies on. Over the knee he goes?this maintains a close contact with the parent-and the boy knows who is in control. Hand spank him over his undies. Surprise him by finally when he thinks it?s all over-pulling down his undies. Now magically produce a plastic spoon or kitchen spatula and spank him with just one smack on the sensitive anus, he will yell. The idea here is that the boy knows you are in total control and can spank him painfully as you see fit, on future occasions. This method has worked for all 5 lads under my control. All of them are fine men who love and respect me
Oct 05, 2011
Cure for an attitude by: Mike
Nancy, I think your boy cries out for a spanking. You say you are at wits end means perhaps that the kid has a dad. Then dad should take charge. Try this recipe I tried with my stepboys 12 & 15,who also often say no! 'Have shower boys', 'Not now dad I'm too busy.' OK, to the bathroom now get in the shower. Supervise their showering, they hate it. Then when they come out. Hands on knees or hands on heels this stretches a boy bum that well that it prevents clenching. Give him 13 (1 for each year of his age) moderately hard handspanks. Now it's corner time for 1 hour. This may cure your boy it helped cure mine!
Mar 06, 2011
13 year old with an attitude by: Barbara
grab him by the hand,and take him to a table or desk ,lower his pants & make him bend well over with his hands flat on the table . take a paddle and swat once and say BECAUSE twice I x3 SAID X4 So . youll be surprised at the results !
Nov 17, 2009
Needs reminder by: Anonymous
Sounds like your son needs a reminder of who the parents are. I always swore when I was a kid, teenager, or even a childless adult that when I had kids I would never tell them, "Because I said so! That's why!" Mostly I don't either. But in order for them to be entitled to a respectful answer, I must be treated with respect and the "why" must be reasonable as should be my request. Respect is huge with our kids and sometimes (not all of the time and I am not saying it is the case with you) they show lack of respect because they are not being respected. Make sure that the families requests are handled respectfully and see if something is going on with another adult that is in an authority position. Then talk with your son about respect. I always try to put my children in my place or the other persons, as it were, in order to let them see how their behavior feels. Try that, it might work. All I know is that at this age it is very important to hold on and to not let them get away with it. Stand your ground and insist on respect.
