12 yr old daughter refuses to listen, lies, mouthy
My boyfriend and his 12 yr old daughter moved in with me 6 mos ago. She couldn't wait to move here. (he has full custody since she was 7) she wanted to live with him vs. her mom. He admits he has spoiled her, and now she's basically a spoiled brat. She's a very nice girl, and we get along great. The problem is she does NOT listen. She was told not to leave her t.v. on all night. Refused to listen. So we put it on a timer. Timer would shut the tv off and she'd get back up and turn it back on and go to sleep. So tv was taken off of her. She then snuck behind our back watching movies on her laptop. Ok, no laptop now. Told she is not allowed to take food in bedroom. Refuses to obey THAT rule. Leaves food, wrappers, mess in her room..in the drawers, etc..She has been grounded for a month. No tv, computer, no going out with friends, etc.. and she has not even made an effort to listen. NONE whatsoever..and she LIES all the time. What can we do? Her mom said she has trouble with her when she comes to visit too. It's driving us crazy. Please help
Comments for
12 yr old daughter refuses to listen, lies, mouthy
The thing of it is, the big picture if you would. Blood is thicker than water when mixing families. A parent has an unconditional natural love for there child that is stronger than a love a man and woman could ever share. So sometimes even when you can see the big picture and he can't, your right and he's wrong, you are still wrong cause of that love. A paternal instinct can destroy a good relationship, nature can be to blame on that in a sense but also the true parent is to be at blame for letting their paternal instinct take over by putting that wall up between you and him and just not doing what's best for the child. I have learned this in the past six years of being in the relationship with the same set up. Her daughter is now 13 and if course "add" with i feel stands for just not ever getting her butt busted when taken things way, way too far. I get to be the bad guy most of the times and it has made me so miserable so many times. And so finally have come to realize after ALL is said and done, care, but quit trying to be so involved. If mother don't care, even after being head of my household, why should i? Cause she will truly listen to her before me when it all comes down to it. Daughter knows when she crosses my line and knows to back up. I will advise her mother on certain things and if she listens then she does, if she don't then she don't. Like i said it will only hurt her daughter in the long run and if that's how she chooses ti cause her daughter then that's better than ne being miserable. I can at least know i tried. Good luck and wish you all the best.
Dec 29, 2011
how to discipline a 12 yr. old by: Anonymous
get yourself a paddle & use it on her (bare) behind "Spare the Rod,Spoil the child" !
Nov 23, 2011
Do it now by: Kerry
This girl poisons everyone around her. The Father does not act decisivly, so it's time for you to get out of this mess, either the girl or yourself has to leave.
Nov 17, 2011
Act and act now! by: Belamby
This young lady is now in control of your household. Smugly observing the frantic activity so amusing to her. Why does her Dad not control this worsening situation? Perhaps, because both of you are still blind to her scheming, after all you make the following contradictory statements: * You get along great with her. * She�s a very nice girl. ////////////// * She tells lies * does not listen �can not be corrected * drives you crazy. My view, from information supplied, is that she is a scheming selfish, messy liar who will not listen and will not be corrected.
So from now on, call a spade-a- spade, identify clearly what she is. Now, having done that it's up to her Dad (and you in a support role) to change this situation. Have her Dad draw up a sensible "war plan", you can advice. This plan could involve getting her to stay with her mum for all time or to give you respite. Get her away to another relative for a while.Get her into a boarding school. When you have a concrete plan sit down with the Dad and girl let him explain the ultimatum, either she leaves because you are sick of her or she behaves. If she begs to stay. She must write a personal letter apologising for her behaviour and stating how she will improve- give her 2 days and if no response, Heave Ho with her. If Dad will not help or is not interested--you better peacefully surrender to your daughter or walk out; after all your boyfriend and his daughter landed you in this predicament. But do something, before the men in white carry you off to �Giggle Land!�
